How to Respond when a Girl doesn’t Remember You
Guest post by Rob Judge
It’s Monday afternoon. You scroll through your phone about to “play the numbers,” meaning you’re about to text all the girls you met over the weekend. Some girls were hot, others were…well…nice.
Regardless, you send them all a personalized text: her name, a flirty greeting, and a little joke the two of you shared. Then you sit back…and wait.
Almost immediately, your phone lights up with a response. You read the sender’s name and get excited! It’s a gorgeous little hotty—a girl you thought would be a TOTAL flake! Amazed at how fast she hit you back, you do a little dance to the gods of game and then flip open your phone. Your heart’s pounding, your hands are shaking, you hold your breath, and read…“Who is this?”
The ultimate buzz-kill.
You can’t BELIEVE it. You’d called her phone on the spot, precisely to PREVENT this situation! Now it’s as if you’re back at SQUARE ONE. You wonder if it’s EVEN worth responding AT ALL…
Well, for those who’ve experienced such (un)forgettable disappointments, I certainly feel your pain. Any guy who’s been out collecting his fair share of numbers is bound to hit a few amnesiac babes. But I’ve found the situation to be salvageable if you make a few crucial moves.
Make sure she knows you’re not offended or angry—One of THE most important things to remember about cold approaching is that it’s NO BIG DEAL. If you ask an attractive girl, most will tell you that meeting new guys is a fun and (somewhat) meaningless activity. Hot women simply don’t invest too much of themselves into an interaction, so it always just stays “fun” for them.
And you should have the same attitude. If you can demonstrate you don’t care, then she’ll relax and know you’re “fun.” Women don’t view giving their numbers out as signing a social contract to see you again. Until it seems “fun” for her, she’s simply not going to meet you again.
Here’s a text I usually send after a “who is this” bomb:
Rob: lol player play3r how many hot guys named Rob did u mack it 2 this wkend?
Everything about that text—down to the typos—is carefully crafted. Essentially, you want to give the impression you really don’t it seriously—you actually find it amusing (“lol”). I like using words like “player” and “mack it” because they’re humorous and they help to reverse the roles a bit, making it seem like she “picked me up.”
Give her a “hint”—After sending my “player play3r” text, I usually wait 10 or 15 minutes. Sometimes women remember you, other times they don’t. Often though, they just don’t respond. The unfortunate reality is that you’re now just a “random guy” texting her. But, again, don’t sweat it—you can still get her out, but you have to work a little text magic.
As such, I usually send a “funny” text that’ll get her laughing. In my upcoming book, The Four Elements of Game, I’ve written all the do’s and don’ts of proper text game. One of my major texting caveats is that humor is often lost in textlation. Whenever guys try to be “funny” on text, it often backfires and either comes off creepy or downright offensive. Learning the difference between “funny” and “weird” took me quite a few botched attempts (and angry responses that read “Delete my number!”), but I think I’ve cracked the “humorous text code.”
As such, here’s the follow up text I usually send next:
This (somewhat) edgy text is a “lol” and not a “wtf” because of one key word: “COUGAR.” Generally, young, hot women have a natural disdain for “cougars.” By making a joke of a “grabby cougar” with “arm fat” and a “fanny pack,” you can get her laughing while also developing some “text rapport” with her.
Most likely, she was also “molested” by a few unsavory characters, as well. I’ve even had girls write back with stories of their own, describing creep-masters gone wild. So it becomes not only a joke, but an instant rapport builder.
Retard disclaimer: This text is NOT supposed to be a “DHV” nor am I sending it to show I’m “preselected.” It’s only function is getting her to see I’m a normal, cool guy.
The Perfect Response to “What do you look like”—Now that you’ve got her giggling and intrigued, like clockwork, her next text will often be, “What do you look like?” Most guys think they’re home free at this point since the girl now seems interested…but it’s a TRAP. If you answer with anything that even resembles a real response—or worse, actually send a picture of yourself—I can almost guarantee you won’t EVER see her again. I know some of you are thinking, “But I’m good looking!”
I’ll bet you are, but by trying to “prove it” over text, you’re only shooting yourself in the foot. On text, only two things matter: 1.) getting her emotional, and 2.) getting a meet up. Volunteering a serious description of yourself or sending a picture is a LOGICAL response—the antithesis of what you want do on text.
The absolute best way to respond is:
Rob: well. I lost a little weight since we met, so I’m down to 467 pounds and I’m only missing 5 teeth now. You gotta check me out ;-)
By answering her question in a completely illogical (and totally playful) way, she again sees you don’t take the interaction too seriously. She’ll feel MUCH more comfortable meeting up with you since she knows that even if she doesn’t like you at least you won’t get all weird and offended. Plus, you got her laughing on text (which is no small feat), so she’ll think you’re probably even funnier in person.
Closing for the Date—After hitting her with a rapid-fire succession of comedic gold, you don’t want to pussyfoot around and keep trying to be “cute” and “funny.” Once a girl is “playing ball,” you setup the date. Period.
Often a girl will write back some indication she found the text funny (e.g., “lololol omg! ur crazy!!”). When that happens, you’ve successfully transitioned yourself from “random guy” to “funny, interesting guy.” And that’s PRECISELY when you push for the date. If you hesitate and keep sending texts, you’re going to transition from “funny, interesting guy” to “text goofball guy.” (Don’t be that guy, he’s celibate.)
Again, I can’t stress enough how tenuous texting a girl who doesn’t remember you can be. You’re literally doing a tightrope walk between keeping her intrigued and not going completely overboard. So practice a healthy minimalist approach and save your comedy routine for the meet up.
Successfully transition into setting up a date:
Rob: Alright, meet me for a drink. No pressure. It’ll be like a blind date of sorts, but you know to look out for a 467-pound sexbomb. Let’s meet at 8:03 in front of (Date location).
And ka-boom, there it is: either she’ll say yes or no, but your chances are MUCH higher considering she didn’t even REMEMBER you initially. In my experience, I’ve found most girls will agree initially, but then try to flake at the last second. But if you just keep pummel her with a few more witty texts she’ll almost always meet up.
And once she does, GAME ON.