Guest post by Christine
If you are a PUA just starting out, you probably have a lot of questions. You probably came into this field because you need some help, any help, when it comes to picking up women. While forums and blogs and books and videos are a great place to get your feet wet in the field, a few tips to help you navigate the field in between your educational pursuits wouldn’t hurt either, right? Your wish is our command. Here are the top 10 tips for PUA’s just starting out, tips that you can start using…tonight. Here they are in no specific order.
1. You’ll need a wingman, keyword, reliable. You know what a wingman is, and you know the importance of this accessory in the field of the pick up. A wingman will help you get some of the best women, in some of the most impossible circumstances. At least, those circumstances seem impossible to you now, but very soon, the word won’t even be in your dictionary. You want someone that you can count on, otherwise, what’s the point? If you’re stuck, forums are a great place to meet guys in your area that are on the same mission as you are.
2. You’ll need some style. You simply can’t attract women looking like Dr. Sheldon Cooper. You may reach a point in your PUA career where it won’t matter what you wear, but if that were the case now you wouldn’t be reading this article, would you? Some new threads will give that confidence a boost, why do you think women read so many fashion articles? That one girl-friend that you have that’s always wanted to take you shopping? Let her. You don’t need to start the game looking like George Clooney to have success. In an interview with Playboy magazine, Mystery suggests one key accessory will do the trick. All you need is a clever hat or scarf and women won’t be able to help but start conversations with you. He also suggests that you make sure you have a good story about that hat when she does. Hint: “I bought it to impress girls.” isn’t the kind of story he was talking about. You bought it off a homeless man when you were helping the starving children in Africa, got it?
3. Be diligent in your quest. In other words, consistency will pay off. If you were going for your Master’s degree, you wouldn’t be skipping lectures and flaking out on your dissertation research. So, if you want to be a master here, you need to be consistent, keep up the practice, and don’t give up just because you got an F one night. You need to keep up with your reading, videos, podcasts, or whatever venue you are using to learn more about the field. But, most importantly, you need consistent field practice. Diligence pays off.
4. Find a way to get over the approach anxiety. It’s easy enough for us to say, get over it. But you have to actually, get over it. This will be your number one game killer. The cold hard truth is, it never goes away, no matter how long you’ve been doing it. Every dude still feels it no matter how many women he’s been with. If you let it get to you, it will get to you and you’ll be knocking out F’s every single night. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Get over it. Life goes on. You weren’t going to marry her anyway, so why are you letting her destroy your self esteem today? If you need tips on killing your approach anxiety, I can send you my 10 best ones here.
5. Fun and playful are the attitudes you need, as spoken by Mystery (and many many others). This is about the game right? Serious sucks, so don’t take it so seriously. When you start to act like things are a big deal, or one strike out is a big deal, you’ll shoot yourself in the foot before you’ve even started. When you have that fun vibe going, women are attracted to that. You attract them without the emotional investment and bam. You’ll have a good night.
6. Get a life. We know that becoming a master PUA is part of that, and congratulations on starting that process. But that can’t be the only thing in your life. When you have life, you also have something to talk about with the girl. Get a gym membership, grow your circle of friends, start to throw parties, put the effort in. When you do, the girls you meet will start to imagine being a part of that cool life. That’s how it is supposed to work.
7. Have a repertoire of techniques to use at your disposal, so that you can adjust your game to match the situation the universe presents you with. You may have one skill or talent or technique that you love, but it won’t work every time. Keep learning, and keep a skill set in your tool kit so that you evolve with the art. Being good at this means that you need to be open to growing as a person, and knowing when to use what techniques is part of that. Let’s go back to that Master’s example again. Let’s say you’re going for a Master’s in Psychology. Do you think the most famous psychologists got where they are today by learning one technique? Nope.
8. Be direct, but laid back. Once again we refer you to not caring about the outcome mindset. The direct approach is one of the most successful. One of the biggest complaints women have is that they don’t know what page he’s on. They don’t care what page he’s on, they just want to know what page that is. When you are direct with her from the get go, already she’s thinking, “whoa, this one is different.” At the same time, direct does not mean high pressure. Laid back, like you don’t care if she says yes or no is going to have her saying yes sooner than later. In Mystery’s Playboy interview, he suggested the one tip that will make the difference between you being laid back, and you…not. He says, don’t lean in, lean back. He suggests this can improve your game by as much as 300%. Don’t say it won’t work until you’ve tried it. Tonight.
9. Don’t hate the player. Or the game. The truth is that there will always be someone better at it than you. That’s the nature of human life. There’s someone better even than Donald Trump, but that doesn’t stop him. You will always have competition, worrying about it is going to turn you into your own worst enemy. Again.
10. Have a routine. As much as you need to know enough to have the skill set to mix it up when necessary, having a routine that is fail safe to you will help you with that approach anxiety. Wingman, check. Style, check. Now develop the trial and error process that routinely increases your success rate exponentially with every practice run. Generate conversations for the sheer practice of it, without expecting success, without expecting anything. When you release an attachment to the outcome, your success rate will improve because you are focusing on nothing else but, getting better. Find out what works, and put that in the routine. As you get better you will find your confidence increasing with your skill set.