date: Mon, 29 July 2005 22:30 GMT
website: Originally posted on old Fast Seduction forums
Here’s one way I generalize male/female relationships.
2. No Power
1. You have no power, she has no power
This is the attitude characterized by guys saying “You probably won’t like me, and there’s nothing that either of us can do about it.” When people have very low self esteem, combined with learned helplessness they often use these kinds of words. This is the situation when a guy thinks for whatever reason that he’s not valuable as a person, and that no woman COULD want him.
2. You have no power, she has the power
Characterized by “I don’t know what to do. I really like this girl, but I don’t think she likes me. I want her to like me really bad. I think about it all the time. I have to figure out how to get her attention and impress her.” These are the kinds of thoughts of most guys who I come into contact with.
3. You have power, she has power
Characterized by “I like myself and believe that I’m a great choice for her, and I think that she’s a desirable woman. I’m going to give her the opportunity to take advantage of being with me. If she accepts, great… if she chooses not to, that’s fine because I can always find another woman.” This is probably the healthiest mindset, but there are a few problems here. Namely, that most women AND men have a whole truckload of personal issues, neurosis, and inner-children-needing-a-hug, so it doesn’t come down this way often.
4. You have power, she has no power
Characterized by “I am the best thing that every happened to you. I take what I want, and you’ll enjoy it. If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you. If you are too stupid to see the opportunity that is in front of you (me) then you’re an idiot, and nothing can be done to help you… later.” Clifford and I were talking on the telephone a few days ago about the new Motley Crue book. You may have read my newsletter a few weeks ago about that book and what those guys are like. Clifford and I agree that these guys act like complete animals, and yet they bang ALL of the world’s hottest chicks… from groupies to super-models. These guys are the undisputed champs of moral bankruptcy in my book. But they sure get laid a lot. lol… they also spend a lot of time in jail and rehab, so think twice about modeling them! Even though these guys aren’t the best models for children, I think that some useful lessons can be learned from them. More later.
OK, so now we have four general situations: 1) You have no power, she has no power, 2) You have no power, she has the power, 3) You have power, she has power, 4) You have power, she has no power.
If you really take a moment and think about it, I’ll bet that you’ll find, as I have, that most problems that guys run into with women come from them believing that THEY HAVE NO POWER. In many situations, us guys just act like she has power and we don’t.
One of the biggest shifts in success for me came when I just started acting like I was the one with more power in every situation.
For instance, if I’ve just started talking to a woman in a coffee shop, and I want to get her number, I’ll say… “Hey, it was nice meeting you… I’m going to get back to my friends…” then I turn back around and say “Do you have email?” If she says yes, then I take out my pen and have her write down her email, and then tell her to write her name, and then her number too. It’s usually pretty smooth. But maybe half the time, she’ll say “Well, I don’t give my number out…” or “Why don’t you give me yours…” or whatever.
Originally, I was stumped because I just gave away all my power to her. Amazingly enough, I would just kind of think “OK, well I guess I’ll just have to give her my number and hope she calls…”
I was giving my power away (I later learned that this is very unattractive to women in general).
Now, if a woman says “Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you” I do something COMPLETELY different. As a matter of fact, it’s almost comical in its simplicity.
I simply point to the piece of paper and say “It’s OK, go ahead write it down.”
If I get more resistance, I say “Just write it down, I’ll only call you ten times a day.”
Now, I’m not perfect, but in most situations with women, I keep my power for myself. I assume that I can handle the situation better than she can. And by just telling her what I want her to do in a calm, confident manner, I almost always get the number.
Of course, this is just one example.
Another is if I’m with a woman and she begins to get upset or emotional about something. Back when I gave my power away most of the time, I would let these kinds of things bother me, and I wouldn’t know how to act. Now, I just smile and say “How do you REALLY feel about it?” in a sarcastic tone. Or I laugh and say “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
I could go on and on about different situations and techniques, but I’m trying to get the idea across that in every situation, you can approach it by keeping your power. Don’t give up your power!
If you’re having trouble in an area, sit down and ask yourself “How would I act if I kept my power? How would I act if I had the power in that situation?” Then list ten ways you could act that would keep your power for you.