Guest post by Richard Liso
In the recent decades, theories in psychology give more weight to how our beliefs affect the way we view life and the way we behave.
The basic idea behind this is that our mind can only concentrate on a tiny part of what it receives via our 5 senses – it has to filter and only process a small part of the information we get.
There is a famous story about how the Spanish navy conquered South America in the 16th century. When the Spanish ships approached the shore, the Indians did nothing about it, because they simply didn’t imagine that those large pieces of wood could be human troops that were coming for battle.
Their mind simply filtered the information about the ships, because it wasn’t part of their belief system.
Now, how is that all connected with being a successful man, and especially with being successful in dating and attracting women?
The way we perceive our interactions with women, is majorly determined by our belief system.
In fact, if you ask men who are successful with women, you will find out that they have very common beliefs about life. And those beliefs are usually different from most of the average men.
If previously, pick up artists and dating advisors were concentrated on technicalities – what to say, how to behave, etc. – today the importance is beliefs and “inner game” receives strong emphasis.
In this post I would like to present you several major beliefs that successful men possess, and that by adopting them your behavior will become more attractive to women.
“There Are Plenty of Women Out There”
This is definitely one of the strongest beliefs that you can adopt, to increase your success women (and in life in general).
Our intuitive action if we want to get something, especially if it’s a woman, is to work hard and make efforts to get it. But while in many aspects in life that is true, when it comes to attracting women – it’s the complete opposite.
A really attractive guy has many women in his life and many options. He will never chase a woman or make efforts to get a girl, especially if he doesn’t really know her. And women are attracted to such behavior.
It doesn’t mean that you should be some ego maniac, but when you are not afraid to lose her, your status gets an immediate boost.
This belief is not only connected to being attractive, it also affects your immediate behavior. Most guys get nervous and act different than usual when around women, even women they hardly know.
But if there are plenty of other women you can meet – there is no reason the be nervous, and you can totally “be yourself”
Unlike other positive beliefs, this one is actually “true”, because there are many women out there. Just think about – no matter where exactly you live, you have literarily millions of women to meet and date – so why should you care about any specific girl?
“Women Need Me More Than I Need Them”
Many men, when they try to pick up or date women, feel that they are doing “something wrong”. It’s very common with having sex – men feel that it’s rude to seduce a girl into casual sex, or even sex at all – as if women don’t want or enjoy sex too.
There are certain reasons for which women resist and try to postpone sex with a guy – but, how should I say this, there is a reason why women scream and shout during sex. Women enjoy sex at least as much as men do – in fact, there are many researches that show that a woman’s orgasm is far stronger that a man’s one.
A much stronger and successful belief is that women need you more than you need them. Women expect and want you to approach them; when you are on a date with a girl – there is nothing wrong with kissing her, she actually hopes you will make the move and give her an exciting date.
And it’s perfectly fine – to try to seduce her to have sex with you.
When you feel that you are doing her a favor when you pick her up, your anxiety and fear of approach becomes much weaker.
“I’m a Friendly Person Who Loves Meeting New People”
How many new people do you meet every day? For most of the people, the answer is very close to none. It’s actually in the human nature to stay away of the unknown – in our safe comfort zone.
Very few people understand and enjoy the power of meeting new people, of enjoying the activity of socializing. Being social brings so many benefits that we just can’t imagine.
I have a good friend who chats with almost any person he sees – with old ladies on the bus, with the taxi driver, with the person sitting near him on the plane, with the girl sitting near him at the restaurant. He simply meets lots of people – and you just can’t imagine how many opportunities this creates for him.
This belief not only develops great social skills, but it also helps avoid approach anxiety: One of the reasons we can’t approach new women is because we are not used to talking to new people.
It’s because we can’t think of the right words, and because we don’t have the confidence to do it.
Seeing yourself as a friendly person who is friendly with everybody, is going to help you with everything related to initiating a conversation and chatting with women.
“Women Are Naturally Attracted To Me. It Just Happens”
The interpretation we give to women’s behavior, affects our entire relationship with the opposite sex.
If a girl looks at your direction – do you consider it a sign of interest – eye contact flirting, or do you suppose she was simply looking at something else?
Or if a girl stops you on the street to ask for some directions – could it be that she’s trying to hit on you?
Men lose plenty of opportunities due to our negative interpretation of a woman’s behavior.
Here is just an example how this belief changes your behavior (First phone call to a girl):
You call a girl -> She doesn’t answer -> “She is probably not interested” -> You delete her number.
You call a girl -> She doesn’t answer ->”She is probably busy at work” -> You call her again and go out on a date.
This belief has even a deeper level: When you suppose that a girl is for sure attracted to you (because women are attracted to you naturally), your whole vibe will be different and full of confidence.
How to Adopt Attractive Beliefs into Your Life?
This is the million dollar question. Basically – there is one major difference between you and the guys who are most successful with women – it’s how you perceive life.
There is no easy way to change your belief system. It’s something that is deep inside you, and It will take time and practice to change.
It would help if you memorize these attractive beliefs, but it’s even more important that you understand their basis and use them in field.
It’s time for you to be aware of beliefs that only limit your success, and learn to use a better, attractive belief system.
Richard Liso is a fan of personal improvement and developing success skills. He also owns his personal blog about dating and attraction.