Stereotypical Archetypes of Pick Up Artists in mainstream media are often depicted as nerdy guys who spend way too much time playing video games suddenly turning their obsessive attention into trying to pick up girls. As a member of the community, mentor, and student of the game, I can definitively say that PUAs come from all areas of life.
There is an element of truth to stereotypes, however, and this often translates into an over-simplification of a character that comes from the game. The following archetypes are for laughs and light retrospection. If you fit into any of these, you’ll know what you have going for you, and what you tend to lack in strength. If I missed anything, reply in the comments below.
1. The Youngster
The community has spawned a segment of guys who are particularly young and learning game. Those of us who started back in the 90s or early 2000s usually started after we graduated from college. These new youngsters are learning aspects of game in high school or college. The development of the seduction community has faciliated in the learning of game at younger ages.
On one hand, these guys have a huge advantage over guys learning this later on in their lives. On the other, some say that youngsters learning cold approach techniques in a school environment actually messes up their natural social development by looking too deeply into the analytic part of natural social interactions.
Youngsters generally go out with under under 21 guys who can only get into 18+ venues. The girls there tend to be easier for them as older women will often make comments like, “you’re way too young for me”. Youngsters, however, do have access to jailbait and younger girls. Depending on their age, state, and the Romeo and Juliet laws youngsters do generally have an easier and more legal time with high school girls.
When learned correctly, a youngster’s game can develop into a lethal dose of seduction and his college and young professional life will be blessed with a steady stream of beautiful women.
When learned incorrectly, the youngster becomes overly analytical and Machiavellian, or gives up on the game altogether.
Where to find him: Under21 Convention, High schools, Colleges, The Mall
2. The Semi-Curious Natural
5 years in the game, and I have yet to find a PUA who is not a dating coach who is better than my natural friends. Naturals are the guys who figured this out on their own, and developed their own style of seduction and relating to women in their lives.
The semi-curious natural is the guy I hang with who occasionally uses pick up lingo and may even find pick up fascinating in explaining what he already does. The natural will be somewhat serious in learning some techniques. However, he is likely to retain his natural flair and “learning from experience” style without going too deep into the details of game.
As the natural associates with more PUAs, he may realize that his natural skills are actually better than most PUAs. It is only when a natural meets another natural, or a PUA instructor, will he begin to see someone better than him and start appreciating the facets of game. Because most naturals get girls without effort (hence the word “natural”) they may not see the value in additional investment in learning game.
Where to find him: bars, clubs, social circles
3. The Divorced Man
The guy who was married for 10 years, with kids, who is now back on the market. He hasn’t played the game in a decade, and now he needs to catch up. The divorced man is skilled in bed and generally in relating to women, having had extensive experience with his previous wife. He is generally more mature and stable, and has a steady confidence about him. However, this confidence may not extend to his social interactions with women. Years of being comfortable with his wife has now put him at a disadvantage in the club.
Furthermore, the market place has changed, and his competition is younger. What he lacks in trendiness he makes up for in his wealth, connections, and sheer experience of age. He may begin dating women who are a bit older than young twenty-somethings, and gradually develop a network that way.
As men get older, the more lazy they are over time, the more extreme the effects are of his apparent confidence of chodiness. As such, a man who hasn’t put in the effort to learn the game of life will have an exponentially harder time catching up at an older age. Case in point:
Where to find him: wine bars, networking events, divorcee events
4. The College Grad
This was me. The majority of guys in the market are just normal, cool guys. Perhaps they were focused on one particular thing in school or focused in their studies. They made great friends in school. They were interested in girls, but never quite took the time to figure them out, aside from the occasional college party or get together at a friend’s house.
Post college, they enter the real world and a dose of reality sets in. The pleasure bubble that school created and how burst and they are put into the competitive arena of real world dating. Some may dwell on old times and keep connections on campus with frats and old friends. Nonetheless, the trend is clear and they are moving further away from campus life into real life. Clinging onto their old lives, they may suffer from depression, or re-apply to go back to grad school (it is not the same, however).
Where to find him: campuses, coffee shops, major college grad job cities like Stamford, CT, Boston, San Francisco.
5. The Dating Coach
A rarity among the rare, the dating coach industry has been replaced by has been consultants with real pick up artists. The folks of the old internet dating coaching market got a shocking surprise when the PUAs burst onto the scene.
The guy who becomes a PUA coach sees it as his calling, or, unfortunately, as his way out of the corporate life and to make money picking up women. These guys are usually mentored by previous instructors, and go through rigorous day to day training in the art of pick up. Their cold approach skills are top notch and usually they have spent a long period of time going out in field and learning from experience. Their expertise allows them to have consistency among sets and they see the scientific feedback in how their interactions go step by step, without becoming overly analytical.
A good coach feels and logically understands the process of seduction, and enjoys it to its full extent. He or she must also enjoy teaching this art form to others. A good coach has to be good in playing the game himself, and also be a good coach in the skill of “teaching”. These 2 skills are not always mutually inclusive.
Bad dating coaches rip people off, and get bad reviews for their bootcamps. Although usually not the case, this does happen because so many guys are willing to pay big bucks for private training. The characteristics of dating coaches range from eccentric to calm and collected to intimidating.
Where to find him: Major cities clubs and bars, their own websites, PUA Lingo!
6. The Validation Seeker
Somewhere along the line between newbie and skilled PUA is the validation seeker. This archetype seeks attention from anyone and everyone. Unlike those who originally got in the game to have women in their lives, the validation seeker tries to get good with women so that he appears to be more awesome in the eyes of his friends and other guys.
Thus he is the guy who players a sport not for himself, but for the admiration of others. The validation seeker may dwell in this community for quite some time, before realizing that he needs to garner more value to himself to satisfy his thirst.
Validation seekers are usually great marketers and reach out to many people to go out. They are, however, usually boastful about their identity and actual skill -set, so much so that it stumps their own ability to improve.
Where to find him: Your local lair, forums.
7. The Lurker / Keyboard Jockey
The Lurker scours the forums for juicy news and starred FRs and posts. He (usually) or she loves to chat online and get into flame wars. He may even get an artificial high from posting something philosophical that he got from analyzing theories in the game, or from 1 night of going out the whole year.
The lurker generally doesn’t post that often, while the keyboard jockey sees it as his mandate to post. Instead of 4 hours in field and 1 hour online, the keyboard jockey spends most of his time online, inversely. 3 hours in field, 12 hours online. These guys can argue game theory for days, however when you meet them in real life, they can’t perform.
Keyboard jockeys are usually virgins, or guys who are in high school / college who cannot get into clubs, but have access to high speed internet. They usually love reading a lot and over-analyzing.
Where to find him: Online forums, usually public, non-local forums.
8. The Liar
Relatively rare in population is the liar – the guy who makes up or greatly exaggerates field reports of lay reports online. He boasts about his accomplishments. When confronted about it, usually the evidence against him has raised suspicion among his wings and people that go out with him.
Liars usually have an average skill set, but because of their exaggerate claims are called out. One time I went out with a guy and he winged me in a 2 set – we sat down at their table briefly and chatted. The girls were friendly, but were not super warm. I eject. Later on, in front of a newbie, he said, “oh yeah I got her number and she just texted me”. I was surprised because my read on their body language was cold. I asked him, “show me the text?” to which he replied, “oh. I deleted it already”. I said, “why?”, he replied, “because I’m a player like that”.
Liars not only stunt their own growth by being dishonest to themselves about their skill level, but also hurt his friendship with others through a lack of trust. Learn to quickly disassociate with the lair for your own sake.
Where to find him: local lair or forums.
9. The Asshole
Max Tucker, Steven Stiffler, Hank Moody; we all have that natural friend who is a bit mean towards women and yet still pulls crazy pussy. His sense of self pride create a twisted sense of confidence, and his “don’t give a fuck” attitude make him sexy. Often, the asshole has a certain look that is very dominant and yet dark. The asshole is similar to the stripper female archetype – sexy and perfect for sex, but a disaster for relationships.
Deep down, the asshole may actually hate women, or resent women. His inability to be faithful stems from a deeper identity of self loathing or sometimes hate, and his distrust and core disconnect with women in general means usually years of self discovery. Sometimes the asshole simply embraces his destructive path, and his relationships acts as a warning to all women as guys to avoid in the future.
Where to find him: Natural player at the bar, fraternities, college campuses, start-ups, lawyers, real estate agents
10. The Forever Newbie
The forever newbie is the guy who plays level 1 over and over again in a video game. He is prone to making the same mistakes twice or more. Despite constant lessons and advice from coaches and others, he still fails to grasp basic concepts of seduction and game.
The forever newbie is stuck in this rut. Deep down, the core issue of the newbie is his fear of success, and his comfort in his failures. As ironically as it seems, people can develop a certain “comfort” to “trying and trying”, because success brings about change, and change requires adaptation. The newbie is actually afraid of change, and his mind sabotages his efforts at learning this new skill set.
The forever newbie can also be lazy – he always picks up where he last left off, but never really finishes. His sets or efforts lack the sense of urgency to find the truth. Learn to avoid or outgrow the forever newbie.
The forever newbie can also be a seminar junkie – paying tons of money to hit up bootcamps and seminars, but doesn’t develop discipline to practice game when the boot camp high dissipates.
11. The Zen Master
A counter trend to the control and the analytical study of game, Zan and others like him have started a movement towards natural game. Understanding human interactions and developing a genuine love for oneself, women, and others. This movement embraces the teaching of taoism, as well as embracing sexuality and the differences of the genders.
Zen masters are pleasant to hang out with, and non-judgmental. They generally have a healthy sense of confidence without it being overbearing.
The fallacy of the zen master or zen-student is an over emphasis on “keeping the peace”, and such ad adherence to one of the philosophies may make the student overly sensitive to others, or not bold enough to go after his true desires. There needs to be a balance of intent, and the freedom from outcome. Such a balance keeps the zen mater at peace, while at the same time, ferocious and effective in his approaches and interactions with women.
Example of Zan’s philosophy articulated in one of his seminars:
Where to find him: Yoga class, meditation class, ars amorata classes
That’s it for this episode guys. Did we miss an archetype or stereotype? Add them in the comments below!