Quick Definition: The transference of anger when a girl acts extremely hostile towards an artist not because of him, but because of something else that happened to her.
It is important to understand surrogate rage when dealing with people because people are heavily influenced by many factors. As such, it takes an extremely aware individual to not be affected by human emotions such as transferred rage. Even these individuals are affected by it, but they learn to become aware and control it.
Taking a passage from How to Argue & Win Every Time (Gerry Spence):
Have you ever seen two dogs standing nose to nose, hair bristling on their backs, tails wagging in those short, stiff wags? Then sometime pokes the larger of the dogs with a stick, and the larger dog attacks, not the person who poked him, but the smaller dog. People are like that. Both dogs and humans search for scapegoats. The parent often takes out his pain on the helpless child, not on the spouse who caused the pain. The foreman takes it out on the hapless worker, not the vice president who has just read him the riot act, who in turn was threatened by the president of the company, who was himself embarrassed by the board of directors, who had seen the company’s stock go to hell on the big board. It reminds me of the biblical lepers who believed that if they could pass on their disease to another they would thereby be cleansed. It is important to understand this process of surrogate rage, this anger vented not on the person responsible, but on a substitute, usually powerless person.
In pickup, never take rejection personally. If a wing or buddy starts acting hostile towards you because of a bad set, just call out your own boundaries and check him. Don’t make a big deal about it. Rather, understand that, if people are abused by someone, they naturally want to find an outlet to vent the rage they have fostered within them.
That was a bad reaction because of surrogate rage. It has nothing to do with you.
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