Guest post by Anders Tryka
Hi guys Anders Tryka here,Casual has been following my blog Powerful Connections for some time and suggested that I write a guest post or two for PUA Lingo and since a lot of my blog and e-book readers have been asking me for some of my more stealthy KINO stuff I thought I might as well just go on ahead and write about it here.
Maybe you have been in the same situation as many of the guys that I have coached along the way have been. You walk up to a girl and have an amazing talk with her that blows you away. Quite possibly you end up exchanging phone numbers and one month down the road you are one of her coolest hang-arounds, and that’s it. You ended up in the friend zone, as there was nothing deeper between the two of you. There was no physical connection. There was no sensual sub-communication, other than your words.
If you do not recognize this situation, you’re one of the lucky few. The fact of the matter is that verbal techniques get somewhere around 80 – 90 percent of the attention on boards and websites like this one, and as a result most guys put emphasis on this part of their game. In reality though, it is my estimate that non-verbal skills such as set positioning and KINO account for 80 percent of the results you achieve with women. That is of course, if we were to exclude the scope of internal “skills” such as attitudes and beliefs.
No matter your previous results with women, you definitely want to look into your non-verbal game. If you ALREADY use a great deal of KINO, you may want to look into the timing and / or intensity. If you didn’t use a lot of KINO before, this page will surely help you become a KINO jedi in no time!
The phrase KINO is derived from the term kinesthetic, I.E. feeling of something or someone and simply put, to “KINO” someone means to physically touch. One may ask why KINO is important in terms of seduction, and the reply to this question is both simple and yet, increasingly complex.
Many guys that I have coached over the years, especially those with a low count of “female experiences,” find it very hard to do KINO for the first 50-200 times. They fear a negative response from the women and as a result either refrain from KINO’ing OR restrain themselves in a sense that they don’t go all-in. As a result, the female response BECOMES negative. In order for you to be able to take on the constructive attitude towards this subject, I’d like you to consider the two most important results that touching accomplish. The first thing you need to learn about KINO, particularly if you are planning to apply some of the stuff on this page, is this: KINO, seen from any perspective, is a great means to sub-communicate that you are a sensual person. Secondly, when you KINO the right way, you also sub-communicate that you are confident around yourself and others.
Now, I don’t know what you’ve read in various PUA forums or heard from females along the way… Me, I’m dead sure that coming across as socially and sensually confident is what has contributed the most to my success with the opposite sex.
Before moving ahead, I’d just like to comment on one single KINO move that can have a devastating consequence in your conversation, and when I say that I don’t mean “in a positive way” – the move I’m talking about is the touching of hair, neck or face!
Several “gurus” out there will tell you it’s a good thing to touch these places. It CAN be, but not before you are in deep comfort levels with the girl and the reason is very simple: The weakest point in the human body, and the one that is internally connected to fear beyond all recognition, is the neck. If we lose control of our neck, we lose control of our body, and that is why most people will move their head away to a safe distance whenever someone gestures towards it. Do you really want someone to create an unconscious connection between you and someone who is trying to kill them? No. Wait until you are sure she is ready for it, and at that point it is one of the most powerful things you can do to seal the deal.
OK, now that we cleared this very important issue up, let’s get started, shall we? As I walk through the list of “moves” below, remember that I list them from “simple / must-do” to “not-so-simple / sneaky freaky shit.” The ground rule of good KINO is, a world class PUA KINO’s immediately to sub-communicate the conversational meta-frame.
The shoulder tap is used when opening or re-engaging into conversation. It’s simple and effective, as we are hard-wired to turn and see what’s going on when someone taps us. With guys go for a more “buddy type” of touching, and remember to nudge, not fondle!
The finger tap works the same way the shoulder tap does, except this one is more subtle. I make it a great rule for my clients that need to remember to apply touch: Chain the process of speaking to the process of touching by tapping a girl’s forearm, hand or finger whenever they ask her a question. I constantly do this, and it easily sets me up for some of the cooler stuff mentioned later on. Mainly use this one when seated, as it is very anonymous and tends to fade away from all the other things going on, AND it becomes too obvious if you are constantly reaching out tap someone’s hand when standing.
The hand on the waist or on the side of a girl’s / guy’s hip when standing is a move used both for the effects of KINO itself AND it virtually gets you locked in with the group of people you are standing with. With guys I tend to go more for the arm taps if they are very dominant, as the waist touch might make you come across as gay (which is not necessarily bad, it’s just incongruent with my style).
The hands / The compliance test is a classic KINO move used to test the level of comfort and rapport. What it also does, when done correctly, is build a positive tension and curiosity on her part. How you do it? Simply pick up her hand, move it close to your face, look at it as if you were examining the positioning of your USB ports on the back of your computer… and put down her hand again without saying a word. Ignore any and all questions about the act or what caused you to do it with a sly smile. The advanced version of this move is to put out your hand and gesture with your fingers that she gives you hers. It sub-communicates more confidence AND it’s an embedded command. Once she goes ahead, and assuming your rapport work is good, she will be more inclined to follow your lead (your commands) from now on. Sneaky.
The finger pull is a move I have become famous for among my clients and friends. After a compliance test I will either keep holding her hand or demand it back later – and I will hold only one fingertip with one of my fingertips, as if they were glued together. I typically go for the pinky. It’s a lot of fun to drag a person around a club like that without using any force whatsoever, and they always get it on a subconscious level: It’s a game of how long we can keep our fingers close together without actually holding each other. Spike her curiosity and playfulness!
The belly is the place you will want to be touching as often as possible and as soon as you get the opportunity, as it is one of the most sensual spots on her body. This spot is only topped by her inner thighs when it comes to density of neural sensors in the skin. Also, someone caressing her belly is closely related to HER submission and sexual aftermath and yeah… I think you get the idea. The idea is to perform this move invisibly, so do it ONLY when standing up, preferably close together; move the back of your hand up and down slowly as the two of you speak and press the back of your fingers towards her belly very gently. If she has no exposed belly, don’t worry. Doing it on the outside of her clothes STILL works.
The rapport / KINO escalation miss-match is a concept I can higly recommend. For instance, I will be doing a finger pull and whenever I see something I don’t like I will break rapport but still keep a hold of her finger as I talk to someone else. As I revert to her I will drop her finger and say something that indicates she needs to invest further in the conversation. Then I might break rapport again with a back-turn, just as I go for her waist or another finger pull. It drives her nuts, as she can’t figure out what I am up to. Rinse and repeat until the escalation takes care of itself from there.
There you have them… the most basic and intensely powerful KINO moves of my game all in one post. I never thought it possible, and I hope you have enjoyed reading them as much as I had a hard time verbalizing them.
You can go out there and make this day amazing. In fact, I’m counting on you to do just that,