Quick Definition: The innate mask we wear when we are in social situations involving people we do not yet know.
As children we do not have social masks. We often interact with other children as we are. Some kids naturally get along and some don’t. Even when they do not, they exist mostly in harmony despite their differences, or play fight until a battle is won and the tension is resolved.
As adults, we gain more power. With this power, comes responsibility. We realize the benefits of lying and the need to withhold the truth for the greater good at times. We thus start developing these “social masks.” Social masks prevent us from expressing our true inner selves. They can also serve to hide our true feelings when such measures benefit us.
For example, one may want to appear serious in a courtroom regarding a serious case that could have major consequences, instead of appearing clueless or careless. Some even wear social masks with friends, pretending to live up to a certain expectation. True friendship allows friends to see each other for what they truly are, and accentuate the positives of that person’s best characteristics.
Depending on the social context of a situation, one must decide to wear the social mask or not. PUAs are a further evolution of seducers, and all seducers live in this paradox of “playing the rules of seduction” with the “game mask,” while simultaneously “seeing through the soul” of the woman he desires. This is intent vs. freedom from outcome.
A great routine to use in comfort is to mime with your hand the gesture of “taking off the mask” and ask the girl to do the same. This acknowledges that people wear social masks to hide their true feelings. The removal will free her of her bonds of social pressures.
“You know, I love meeting new people. One of the things I noticed… was that everyone seems to have this social mask on when they first meet someone due to fear. We should take off our masks and be as we are, because you will feel free and be able to express yourself to your full potential.”
True words spoken by Don Juan DeMarco (played by Johnny Depp) about seeing one’s TRUE SELF:
James always has his social mask on, even with his friends.