Quick Definition: A person who enjoys socializing with many different people, and usually has become good at meeting new people.
Social Butterfly describes any person that can “warm up” a room in different situations. A salesman, a politician, an attractive and outgoing woman, and a friendly old grandma can all be social butterflies.
The essential similarity between butterflies is their ease at flying from one social tree to another with seeming ease. Social butterflies read body language cues well, and open well. They are quick to calibrate on social pressure and move on quickly from groups that do not warm up, knowing that this is all a numbers game and that everyone can have a bad day.
Urban Dictionary defines social butterfly as:
|social butterfly||854 up, 165 down|
Someone who is VERY social and easygoing; can be either a male or a female. Usually these people don’t belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to another. They are somewhat accepted in all of them, but don’t really have any deep friendship connections in any of them.
While it can be true that real skilled social butterflies / connectors can belong strongly in one group, they can still reach out to another. For example, Hefner is a member of the Playboy family (founder, actually) and still is able to connect with people who share very different views than him in sexuality and the cultural revolution.
Not every Artist is built to be a natural social butterfly. However, artists should strive to make new connections with strangers with relative ease, as it is an essential part of expanding one’s reality, social circle, and views of the world.
The drawbacks of a social butterfly are his or her apparent lack of concern for close friends. Sometimes, a host of a busy party may feel like a social butterfly in a hurricane managing all the party details. To avoid this trap, plan beforehand, or hire an event planner specifically to handle these situations. Never forget about your close friends, and give them the attention and value that they so rightly deserve. In making new connections, one should never forfeit or burn bridges with old ones.
If, on the other hand, a social group hates or dislikes a person, the PUA can often create new connections easily. For example, on a trip to Vegas with a work group, I traveled with some well meaning but boring colleagues. I reached out to local PUAs and made friends with the girls there, and had a lot of fun and closed a cute girl before I left that week. Do not be afraid to step out of the tribe. Our brains are not wired to do so, because stepping out of one’s tribe was very difficult back in the hunter-gatherer days. These days, there are so many people that it is no longer an issue. So don’t let a social circle that hates you get the best of you. Move on, expand, and do not put up with lower standards than what you believe you deserve.
Use a trust test to see if you have enough rapport with her at this point.