• Self Amusement

    by AlphaWolf & Co.

    Quick Definition: The mentality of having fun yourself, and influencing other people by the distribution of positive energy and not caring if they ultimately are influenced by you or not. The acceptance that ultimately you are responsible for how you feel and no one else can take that away from you.

    Full Definition:

    One of the reasons we love kids and animals is that they know how to self amuse. Not caught up in the ego or its perception of oneself, we find ways to entertain ourselves in all sorts of situations. Dogs in particular are always self amused. Have you ever found yourself being mean to a dog or ignoring it? It simply keeps bugging you. Eventually it gives up and goes elsewhere for fun. It doesn’t judge you, it doesn’t hate you, it simply IS. Dog wants to play? You don’t want to play? Oh ok. Sad face. Find next play pal… this frame of mind for any dog owner should be a model for gaming girls.

    Hey! I’m in a good mood, want to play? no? Ok cool. Next. Social “rejection” or “no I don’t want to play” is irrelevant. You’re simply pinging and looking for a play buddy. This is the underlying theme of self amusement.


    Examples of dogs playing among themselves

    In the pick up world, Brad Benson explains this best in his blog post, which I will courteously steal from:

    The old pick up model works as such:

    Button push  –>  Girl reacts  –>  Your state goes up

    But we forget that in this model, we are dependent on the girl and if she doesn’t give us a good reaction, our state goes down. The truth is emotional states are transferable, and Whatever you feel, she feels.

    Shine the mirror back on yourself, what is playful for YOU?

    What do you find hilarious, enjoyable, fun?

    The new flow of energy is then:

    Self amuse  –>  You feel good   –>  She feels good.

    Here is Brand explaining self amusement to a student and then making him approach a set at a restaurant:

    Further Reading:


    Self Amusement is the key to having a good time AND getting the girl!

    Related Terms: Congruence, Inner Game, Neg, Neg Hit, Push and Pull, Cocky and Funny, Core Confidence, Situational Confidence, Frame, Frame Control, Leading

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