Self Acceptance

Quick Definition: The ability for a person to understand oneself, and realize that happiness is the default state, while having a realistic view of one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Full Definition:

In clinical psychology, self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite for change to occur. It can be achieved by stopping negative comments of one’s self, and then accepting them to be part of you. That is, tolerating oneself to be imperfect in some parts.

In some ways, self acceptance is simply a person’s healthy relationship to reality and not assessing anything for more, or less, than what it is. For example, if a PUA is short, other than leg extension surgery, there’s not much else he can do and worrying about it simply consumes his time and energy. Any reasonable person will probably assess the surgery based on a logical and rational cost/benefit analysis and make his own decisions.

Oftentimes a person’s weaknesses is magnified in their minds. For many plastic surgery patients, a slightly asymmetrical nose or facial feature becomes a huge problem in their minds. In reality, however, it is barely noticeable. Good plastic surgeons are finely attuned to the metrics (usually in mm) that determine beauty and I have heard doctor’s say, “the amount asymmetry you have is within acceptable limits”. At the end of the day, the assessment of beauty is subjective to cultural and commercial change. 

self acceptance

Self Acceptance is often based on accepting what can’t be changed, what takes time to change, and what can be changed with effort, and taking action towards these goals. On a higher level, Eckhart Tolle talks about ascending the “ego”, and self, and being more attuned with just being. For more depth on this check his book A New Earth.


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Related Terms: Congruence, Identity, Core Confidence, Situational Confidence, Core Beliefs, Incongruent

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