Alright playas. So today I’m here to teach you 2 techniques to start a conversation without seeming needy, and then having her chase you.
Overwhelmingly, most new guys do it wrong, and they repeat the same mistakes. Don’t be like this dog:
She’s not rejecting you, or you as a person. She’s just not that into your approach because it wasn’t good enough. Take it easy and have a laugh. Rejections are funny and learning experiences.
Now, ready to learn how to do it my way? Shake it up, here we go :)
A) The Cold Approach – 3 Technical Tips
1. Tonality and Body Language
Most guys forget that our words makeup only 7% of what people pick up in an interaction. Thus, work on your body language and your tonality. I always have my students pick 1-2 default openers, and then practice saying them in the right tonality. If you’re having trouble with your body language, checkout Simple Pickup’s videos – watch Kong (Asian guy) in particular, he has a subtle alpha body language.
Your tonality should up be high pitch, from the bottom up. It can be neutral or low pitch. Tim talks about communication tonalities and what each mode means.
A lot of guys use canned openers or just random day game openers like, “hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hello”. This is fine if you do it right, but I always thought it placed too much emphasis on the girl’s looks. Rather, I am going to teach you 2 openers that I’ve field tested for years that works:
1. Hey. You guys looked… (pause for 1-2 seconds). Badass. I had to say hi.
2. Hey. You look interesting. I wanted to meet you.
Notice how “interesting” and “badass” can have many different interpretations. She’s thinking, “yeah he’s hitting on me? But what about me makes me look interesting, or badass?” It retains your value and also creates intrigue – you’re not just about her beauty, you’re actually seeing past that into something interesting about her. Everyone wants to know what’s interesting about themselves.
You also negate the effect of putting her beauty on a pedestal by saying, “you’re gorgeous I had to say hello”. Don’t you think gorgeous girls hear that all the time? It’s the easiest one liner guys use! Don’t be that dude.
3. Negs (or, more like TEASING)
After the initial interaction, most guys go into “interview mode” and it bores the hell out of your target.
Negs are often misused. It is supposed to be a funny tease. The correct effect of a neg = laughter. I am going to share some of my field tested negs today:
1) You guys look so cute together. You’re like the Spice Girls / Powerpuff Girls
2) Ok you win. Congratulations. You’re so cool. All the little girls want to be just like you when they grow up.
B) The Warm Situational Approach – Mindset and Frame Control Tip
1. Some guys don’t like cold approaching or they get scared, or they think its too much work. Listen – its only too much work if you’re doing it wrong. This is why you should get a coach. Nevertheless, I want to talk about 3 mindsets you can have when approaching a girl in a cold or warm situation. #1 is: abundance mentality. Its no big deal. The next “10” (your version of a 10) or super hottie is just around the corner. If you’re new, focus on the skill set and process, not the outcome.
2. Not every girl will be into you and not every girl is available. Try to be a networker. Find out what’s important to her, and offer to connect her to events that add value to her, or people that may be interested in her work or her as a potential date. If you come with this mentality you’re not actually “hitting on a girl”, you’re just a fun, socially connected dude. Don’t let this frame take over when you’re actually interested in the girl and scared, but use this on girls that are not available or when you’re really nervous.
3. Be genuinely curious about other people. Not just girls. This will come across in all of your interactions. You can find more about how to tune out your “ego” and reach a state of total presence in the company of others in the other ebook you downloaded, “10 tips to kill approach anxiety”.
Watch Zan give an example of how interested he is in the host, as well as his male companion, “there’s a little twinkle in his eye”. He never puts anyone down: