• Rumination

    by AlphaWolf & Co.
    3 comments

    Quick Definition: The process of repetitively thinking about certain events with a very negative and often “the sky is falling!” frame.


    Full Definition:

    Psychologists studying depression have defined rumination as a process that all humans go through when tough times hit. However, certain people have a higher tendency to ruminate than others. Rumination is more common among people who are more pessimistic, neurotic, and negative. It is a vicious negative cycle.

    In pickup, this process takes shape when PUAs think over a certain event where they got rejected or otherwise did not get the girl. Then they replay the scene over and over again. Oftentimes, the PUA assigns biased reasons for the actions of strangers. For example:

    PUA: She totally left me to see another guy!

    Girl: No, she said she has to leave because her friend was waiting for her!

    PUA: Yeah, she’s probably going to see another guy. (biased, non factual opinion)

    Girl: Think whatever you like.

    The truth is PUAs do not know why a girl does or doesn’t call back or return. Assigning value to these things, especially negative value, is counter-productive and can cause depression if the PUA already has a sense of low self esteem.

    Martin Seligman on positive psychology and how to cultivate a positive thinking pattern to defeat rumination:

    Related Terms: Emotional Connection, Congruence, Lifestyle, Sarging, Pickup Opportunity Cost, Motivation Booster, Outcome Dependence, Outcome Independence

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    3 comments

    Aly AL May 18, 2010 - 8:47 pm

    There have been times when I have gotten a number and had a quick text convo over the span of a week only to see that the girl no longer responds. In all irony to what may have gone through my head, a month later she decides she wants to come out and hang out. Proof that it is all in your head…. Don’t stalk, but don’t blame yourself.

    Reply
    Matt Savage May 19, 2010 - 4:48 pm

    It’s interesting how he breaks down the three types of happiness. Coincidentally, it seems that guys getting into pick-up tend to be seeking the first type of happiness which is based on general good feelings, things like sex and physical intimacy, but it’s pretty clear that what we all should be striving for is the third type of happiness which is much more seems to be a much more fulfilling way to live ones life, as if it is part of larger cause greater than one self.

    Great video.

    Reply
    alphawolf May 19, 2010 - 11:41 pm

    Dr Seligman is excellent, if you follow his research over the past 20 years on learned optimism and positive psychology he has done a lot to make our lives better. Highly recommended reading included his books ‘learned optimism’ and ‘authentic happiness’

    Reply

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