Re: RSD Hot Seat Event in SF
This is my first “bootcamp” experience of any kind, other than hanging out with Troy Dizon as a friend. I am not affiliated with RSD in any way, although I have been a fan of Tyler Durden’s work since the publication of the Blueprint.
Overall, the hotseat experience was amazing. The cost = $300 USD, well worth the money spent. The most insightful breakdowns happened when the videos were paused, and Tyler explained the subtleties of the pickup.
Section I: Notes I Wrote Down
1. The look. Tyler: “at a certain point we develop a social intuition for that ‘look’ girls give. Their eyes light up and you know she’s ‘popped’. She’s attracted to you. Take a look at where this happens in this video. Where is it guys? when? when?”. I’ve experienced this before and it was nice to see him break it down on footage.
2. This happens all the time, Tyler: “you have to behave as it this is a normal occurrence for you. Like it happens all the time and it is not a big deal”
3. Life is exciting. Tyler: “but notice how happy my face is when I’m spinning her around”. Life is supposed to be exciting. Picking up girls is fun and exciting. And it should be that way. No matter how many times I do it, whenever I get to this point I always feel it.
4. Logical vs. Emotional Selfs – Tyler showed us a video of a classical “good girl” and how she was asking all these logical questions. He kept on engaging her emotional side and eventually walked her home. Most of us related to girls as a FRIEND to FRIEND relationship. But, chemistry comes from relating as a MAN to a WOMAN relationship.
5. Jeffy: “Yeah I am usually like XXX (an asshole). Times 5.”
6. Accepting a girl for who she is. Not judging her for having a sexual side.
7. Buyer- seller dynamic: we are the buyers. You have to understand this concept. Guys who try to sell themselves = “DESTROYED”
8. Clarity comes from your thoughts, your words, and your actions. All of these convey CONGRUENCE. Congruence gives you good intent.
9. State transference: the idea that if you feel an emotion strongly, expressing it will transfer your state to others around you.
10. State transfer has a lot to do with how men related to women
11. The importance of physically taking control – Tyler shows a video of picking girls up and pigging backing her around the street. Interestingly we talked about height here. In lack of height, look beyond the superficial level and see the principles. Height = dominance and safety. Tyler shows come cool tricks about how to convey dominance and a leading frame when the girl is taller than you through “unless leading” (leading for the sake of leading), physical control and escalation.
12. The power of looking away and then opening spontaneously
13. The power of making fun of yourself. Tyler describing himself: “casper, capone, david spade. Megamind”. Followed by his signature muahah laugh
14. Having an awareness for things that are happening around the club
15. Role playing, “honey, is that what you do when I hit the bathroom? Chat up other handsome guys?”
16. Your life is your own modern movie. Make it an awesome one.
17. You’re the hero of your mental movie. It is your life.
18. The idea of momentum. It is ok get blown out. Liquid courage is cheating. Take ACTION. No one starts out great at the beginning of the night, but towards the end of the night your neuro-chemicals in the brain start firing rapidly and you’re just on-point. Even Kobe Bryant needs to warmup before a game. Jeffy adds: momentum can build up over a period of hours, days, weeks, months.
19. 2 mentalities to get over AA. One, the world = a pickup lab mentality. Just experimenting. Second, the idea of generating action based momentum. Where there is action things will start happening
20. Funny lines: “You’re my last chance for love! Don’t leave!”
21: Adventurous vs. Conservative selfs – we all have different sides of personalities in us. They serve different purposes. Matrix of Personality concept. Adventure self is based on opportunity, exploration, fearlessness and the future. Conservative self is based on core values, what has worked before, and tradition. Both serve great purposes in different situations. In pickup, coax the adventurous self in you and the girl.
22: Cool lines: “I like your hair. It feels like the mane of a fine stallion” (Jeffy?)
23: 4 pillars:
a) Core – not trying to impress / self amusement
b) bring the party
c) leading and dominant frame
d) being unreactive / proactive
24. The more dolled up a girl is, the more she wants attention
25. Players do what they want, bitches do what they can
26. The power of misinterpretation: “What, you want to take me home now? Naughty girl”
27. Shifting sands – they can’t grab onto anything solid (Jeffy)
28. Narrating what they think and calibrating, “I’m sorry that was too forward yeah”
29. Not giving a fuck, but step two is having the sensibility to empathize and be aware of how you make other people feel
30. Nice pull line from Ryan: “my mind if full of dirty thoughts. Time to go”
31. The idea of knowing when a girl “pops” and is attracted to you, and knowing when you’ve built enough qualification and value and to “extract”. Pull the trigger. Close.
32. A closing sequence – much like a comedian or speech
33. Pointless leading
34. Australian Coach (Alex?) demos a very powerful technique. “Where is your name”. Before the girl answers, he starts making out with her. Overriding her “autopilot” responses
35. Good line: “you taste like candy”
36. Making the girl feel VALIDATED that’s she fucking you and is not a cum dumpster (this point became difficult to remember once Jeffy came on stage)
37. Funny lines: “Where are you from?” Alex: “heaven”
38. Assume whatever you’re saying is awesome.
39. Intent is good, but Intent changes in intensity depending on whether you care or not. But you still need to remain OUTCOME INDEPENDENT. This happens with an abundance mentality. High intent + Non Outcome Dependence = Highly Effective Performance. This applies to many other areas of life.
Section 2: Videos I remembered and lessons learned
1. Tyler videos – I learned the importance of physically leading the girl. How they manhandle girls and carry her (even though Tyler admits he was out of shape). As a man that just conveys so much dominance and girls secretly want to be handled.
2. DUH DUH DUH. Talk for the sake of talking and filling the void / vacuum.
3. Video of Tyler with tall chick: showed the importance of understanding height, why it can matter and how to convey dominance otherwise
4. Video of Tyler getting angry as “silence of lambs” reference, and how sometimes we jeopardize ourselves. Our inner selfs are always shining through. Don’t take anything in the game seriously
5. Video of Tyler blowing out the CEO of the club: this was BIG one for me. Showing how money and status don’t mean shit. He was able to isolate this girl despite ALL social conditioning favoring the other dude. Tyler: “he had better looks than me, he was taller, he owned the club, threw the party, had the nice car, but he had no game.” Also, the lesson of “field intuition”. “For some strange reason I asked her how much she paid to get in. Looking back, I think my unconscious mind knew that if I brought that up, the guy would brag about it”. People lie. Test the assumptions. Never assume. Most guys are not boyfriends.
6. Video of Tyler gaming ‘good girl’: shows you how to engage adventurous self instead of conventional self
7. Video of Tyler daygaming and physically escalating during the day and meeting also meeting a very cool blond girl at the mall
8. Video of Tyler being fat and still pulling girls (i.e. looks don’t matter)
9. Video of Tyler pulling ADD chicks, “now that I’m a bit older, this is not necessarily my sort of thing, but you should know how to do it”. I laughed my ass off because I personally hate ADD girls but sometimes they are really hot. Tyler mutters to wing as they are walking: “stay on it”. It wasn’t until the girl said, “my apartment is over there” that he knew they were “in”
10. Jeffy videos: overall, just ridiculous over the top funny. The whole room was laughing so hard I think people forgot to take notes. What I remember is that Jeffy has SICK vocabulary and a very weird sense of humor. Girls either love him or hate him. But he either gets it FULL on or girls totally hate him. But he is never forgettable.
11. Jeffy telling a girl to f off and kill herself (lol)
12. Jeffy banging chicks in the **** van
13. Jeffy in person
(These were all unique experiences for me lol. I didn’t get star struck with Tyler or Papa or even Herbal but I was a bit star struck with Jeffy.)
14. Tyler shows videos of Ryan and Alex to juxtaposition the types of game: “even though our styles are different, the underlying principles that are at work are the same”
15. Ryan: Cool laid back vibe, pinpointing moments where he turned from FRIEND to FRIEND to MAN to WOMAN
16. Alex: The idea of overriding autopilot responses, and leading with NO chips in the armor as far as confidence goes. Assume success already.
17. Tyler showing us some “ok” scenes: “somethings it is like an audition. She’s listening to you but you haven’t swayed her either way. Don’t give up. Keep going”. “When I do well on my demos students are like ‘ WOW” and they can’t relate, sometimes when I get blown out it gives them permission to get blown out and they do better”. It is ok pickup is like real life. Sometimes its clunky sometimes its not clean but keep at it. Don’t take it too seriously.”
1. Saying something boring in an AWESOME way. It is not what you say, it is how you say it. The idea of being “too cool” for young girls. But everyone just wants to “FUN TALK” in the bar. It is not about logic. Learning to relate on this level
2. Improv skills – the ability to let your mind flow and come up with things on the spot (Improv class highly recommended)
3. The most useful exercise: having 3 other guys shout and push you and put “PRESSURE” on you while you state boldly what you learned in the 10 hour session today. This was the most useful exercise for me. It shows you how to deal with social pressure and stand your ground.
Section 3: Lessons I personally took most to heart
1. During a break I asked Owen a personal question that has been on my mind as of late. He greeted me warmly. I asked him, “You know, lately pick up just feels like a chore to me. At what point did it become fun for you?” He smiled and said, “I understand. Well. Keep watching.” I stood there for a second, nodding. I was expecting a bit more and he sensed it. So he continued, “Keep watching the rest of the videos. We are only halfway through. And maybe you’ll find something that will inspire you and make it fun.” He said this in a very chilled out manner, like it wasn’t a big deal. The lesson I personally learned from this was that he didn’t make a big deal out of it like I was kind of projecting onto him. He wasn’t trying to “convince” me or project onto me this big challenge or whatnot. I walked away thinking about it and I think the point Owen trying to communicate to me was, “that’s ok. Hopefully you will find something that inspires you soon, in this program or otherwise”.
2. I underestimated the power of physical escalation and the MAN to WOMAN type of relating to a girl.
3. One of the Jeffy videos showed a short Asian dude pulling girls. I was impressed because I was always believed a little bit about this “race” thing (and honestly I still do think it matters a bit) but he was making out with hot tall white girls so that was impressive.
4. Jeffy’s parody was fucking hilarious. He says in one video that pickup is all a lie and the reason he gets laid is because of his model looks. This is right before he shows us a clip of him jamming the escalator steps at the mall and in between cut scenes from his “r*** van”
5. Tyler and Papa were there will 2am. When we finished it was about 1:55am. The seminar was supposed to go from 2pm to 10pm. They stayed for 4 hours because I think Jeffy was an extra they added for SF only (thanks again) and also that Tyler wanted a great program. You can tell. This is guy who takes pride in his work and really wants to help these guys learn. This is my first RSD in-person program. Honestly I was expecting a lot of chodey guys (at least some) but the caliber of the guys I met were awesome. Towards the end, after getting high from Jeffy’s craziness I think the group died down a little. A lot of the guys I spoke to were impressed but definitely very drained and tired. I could see it in Tyler’s eyes too but this guy just keeps on pushing. He was pushing us to go along with him all the way till the end. Standing ovation was well deserved. Papa was sitting close to me and he’s watching and making sure everything is ok. UZ was there too (friend of mine). Big thanks to the whole crew for making sure everything ran smoothly. A lot of guys don’t get “stage” time but they deserve credit for their work in putting together this event.
6. Herbal never got that Wallaby that was written about in The Game
7. Tyler tried to drill this into our heads but I think this has to be experienced. The footage helps. Video is the closest thing we have to real life right now. I remember the quote, “money, status, a good body, yes, it is nice to obtain those as your personal goals and journey. But do that for the sake of yourself. Never let any of these things that, through social conditioning have been implanted on you as must haves in order to get the woman you want. Don’t EVER let that be a restriction on what you believe you are entitled to in life.”
8. Tyler: “when we die we can’t take our bodies, wealth or status with us. If you believe in life after death then all we have on this journey is our character and the person we have evolved to be. At the end of the day that is the most important thing”
9. Overall, a sense of wonderment. These guys do this for a living. There is a next level. It is clean, precise, and fun. Tyler: “learning cold approach pickup is like learning basketball in the 1930’s. Only a handful of the population are good at this and even if you are just intermediate you will do well”
10. Jeffy: “After we banged, this girl was walking along the street asking homeless bums for cocaine.”
11. Jeffy: “As you can see… she [girl he banged] looks like a psychotic chipmunk”
12. Herbal, Papa, Tyler were all really cool. I greeted them with their real names and fame and fortune didn’t make them jaded. They treated everyone like a real person. I really liked this, I liked the authenticity. I didn’t get to say hi to Jeffy. I was nervous that I might be secretly attracted to him.
Suggestions for improvement:
1. In the end session the room got really hot
2. Water and glasses ran out towards the end
3. I came in late so maybe I missed this but I honestly wonder how to footage was gathered and the legality around it. Personally, I find it reasonable and very educational. But I can imagine if I was related to one of the girls how I may be concerned if… my sister is being filmed and whatnot. It kind of feels like we are exposing the secret society a little bit and I feel a bit guilty.