Reverse Oneitis

Quick Definition: Refers to the inability of a man to open up or show vulnerability as a human being after “playing the field” for too long

Full Definition:

Earlier on in the community, guys in the game have a tendency to see women as objects of conquest. And while one dimension of women is sexual, they are also human beings with flaws, feelings and insecurities. The ability to be vulnerable and real is the core foundation of any strong relationship.

In the film Meet Joe Black Brad Pitt’s character Death asks Quince a question about human love:

“What does it mean, to love someone?”

Players who have been in the game for a long time, including myself, have been known to develop a shield in learning game. We do this out of necessity – after several hundred rejections and dates and many relationships, the player develops the mindset of developing his skill set to garner sexual relationships with lots of women. As a man, he needs to do this. He requires this skill-set. Eventually, he may meet the right girl, but in his mind, in order to match her power and fulfill his own masculine destiny, he needs to grow into a man that can attract lots of other women. Only when this skill-set is acquired, can he then decide to date 1 girl, or many, as he pleases. The same way a man makes a decision based on everything that’s available, instead of taking only what limited options he has.


In developing his “player” experience, the artist soon realizes that he cannot maintain his mask or his shield without showing his vulnerable side. In fact, to get to mastery, many of the best seducers are also those that show their vulnerability the most and also suffer the most when girls leave.

The term “reverse-oneitis” refers to the guys who were unable to open up again after learning game. They’ve built up a shield to their inner heart. Not all PUAs are like this, and a man does not need to be a PUA to have reverse-oneitis, many normal guys have it too. Some argue that the exploration of psychology and the meditation arts actually open up the artist more to be in tune with his love life than others.


I think you have reverse oneitis from being single for too long…

Related Terms: Player, Seducer, Seducer’s Aura, MLTR, Intimacy, Connection, Commonality,