Original post by AFC Adam
Context: Adam breaks down his own version of attraction
What is attraction? What makes it work?
Remember the days in school we used to watch the cute girls, the girls we spent lonely nights dreaming of, being with the bully’s and jerks of the school. Wondering why, why, why, they’d hang with them. Why they’d want to be with them after been treated badly, get teased and treated like nothing, these guys were so disinterested in them. I remember sitting in class and constantly thinking if I was that guy or if she was with me, I’d appreciate her, I’ve got so much to offer her.
But we just felt it was not in us. Not a part of your make up to treat women like that. You’d watch in awe and accept that some have it and some don’t. We did not realise we could actually do something about it, we had this mindset because; we just saw the external parts of the interaction between this type of guy and gorgeous girls, not the internal aspects, seeing the cogs move, not understanding the principles of the attraction. What triggers this need and want in a female.
Breaking these certain aspects down, teaches us something. And will flip the script for us forever and never live in fear of women again or a relationship ever again. You will never be lost or not know what to do. These 3 aspects of the interaction are the bedrock of the whole relationship, follow this blue print and allay all your fears, the hard work has been done for you, here are the guidelines to stick by.
Everyone of us, every single person breathing needs and wants things. We don’t feel the real want or desire for anything, until we get it pulled away from us, yanked out from under us, or when we realise we can’t have it anymore.
What makes yesterday good and today bad? Yesterday was only good because today is not as much. This theory applies especially with girls and how they perceive a potential partner. They want something they can’t have anymore.
The takeaway and realization that they can’t have you, creates a vacuum of thought and investment. Thus sparking attraction, this makes you want something more and makes you have to have it. Being temporarily unavailable is magic in getting and generating interest and investment by women. Once a woman invests in you, thinks about you. Half the job is done.
They will believe they need you and they will work for you and strive to get you, this will generate more investment and they will eventually believe they are in love with you
If you watched the same movie every night for the rest of your life you’d hate it, find it boring and never want to watch it, you’d resent it and find reasons not to watch it. A relationship with any girl follows the same concept. If you were predictable and boring, why on earth would they want to see you?
Not knowing what to expect is exciting, alluring, scarily addictive and undeniably attractive. People who go through there lives like zombies, day after day doing the same mundane thing, following the same routine are boring people, and they are not interesting and are not captivating they are value seeking people and do not add anything to anyone. This leads to being unattractive.
In case you were wondering, this is not good. Woman want stability in a relationship, but not in there partners personality. They want to be captivated. People we can’t read or pin down, captivate us, they bring us into their world.
Once a girl has entered your world, then she will need you, she will be falling deeply and longing for you when you are not around, because she wants to be around you, to see what happens next.
This is because you are exciting and unpredictable and are making her life exciting and you are adding value to it.
BREAKING THE COMFORT
all women do not know what they want, they are emotional creatures and will never be logical, they will never think logically, and will never be understood. We mustn’t try to understand just know how to deal with it.
If you have a girl you want to date, don’t dare tell her! As wrong as it seems, just be counter intuitive.
She wants excitement and to chase for you, women love to chase. A women loves dreaming and working for things in life. They want to work for the comfort you’ve built up with them, give them a hint of it, almost like a new flavour Doritos, for a limited time only. Once they’ve tasted it and then you take it away. They will long for it. If you give in and conform too easily, displaying neediness, it’s game over!
But for this chase as in the 2nd principle to happen.
A certain amount of comfort need to be in place, she needs to want you and to fight for you. A solid relationship is like a mathematic formula. It’s an equation. You need to develop comfort, and then break it. Causing the girl to invest in you and igniting the attraction. C-R+In=Att (Comfort –rapport +investment=attraction)
It’s seems complicating but it’s not. You need to have a certain amount of comfort to break and create the vacuum that causes her to want to have you as a partner.
She needs that safety you once gave her to burn her inside and make her think about you and run after you and invest her time in you. These principles go hand in hand with one another, because they all lead into each other.
The 1st needs the 2nd which needs the 3rd, which needs both one and two to work.
Keeping your cool is essential and is following all the guidelines together.
Don’t break down, give in or give up.
Following simple steps like this is easy. Your head can give in with all info you can get your hands on, it will confuse you and drive you crazy.
But follow these simple steps as your guideline and you’ll always know what to do next, be in control and know where you stand.
Because they are principles, they are flexible and are not learnt like a book. Because people aren’t like books, all of us are different and all situations are different.
These are a guideline to help you express yourself with, and to give you the edge and when you have an edge. You have confidence, because you know that that you know how to deal with a situation and get the upper hand.