*PUA Lingo does not endorse or support the use of these terms. We strive to describe them the best we can based on the seduction community’s uses for them in improving men’s (and some women’s) dating lives.
Player is a mainstream term, and, although the term is sometimes used interchangeably with “PUA,” some members of the community argue that there is a difference between players and PUAs. While both players and PUAs have the goal of sleeping with large numbers of women, the term “player” usually has a negative connotation of dishonesty and disrespect for women—someone who “plays” with the feelings of women to get them into bed.
Although some PUAs share the same mindset, many PUAs believe in honesty, rather than deception, and are up front about their multiple relationships with women. Many PUAs see the path of seduction as a journey of self improvement and use pickup skills to express their best selves to women in a genuine and authentic way, in order to gain their attraction and companionship. The motto of many PUAs is “leave her better than you found her,” and they strive to give value to women, rather than simply taking it.
In this way, many PUAs try to distinguish themselves from players, although not all PUAs make such distinctions. There are “good” PUAs and “good” players, just as there are bad PUAs and bad players. Hugh Hefner, for example, is a well known player who has positive relationships with most of his ex-girlfriends.
That guy’s just a player– he’ll just use you and leave you.