Pair Bonding

Quick Definition: The affinity and attachment that develops between a male and female for the purpose of raising an infant to adulthood. Pair bonding in humans is in part controlled by chemicals (such as oxytocin) in the brain.

Full Definition:

Pair bonding historically has assisted in the survival of our species. Having sex releases the chemical oxytocin, which make people feel attached to each other. This is believed to have evolved as a way for a man and a woman to stay together long enough to raise a child. Even today, pair bonding continues to assist in the successful partnership of bringing up a child to adulthood.

Pair bonding can sometimes lead to oneitis, if one of the partners grows too attached to the other.

Pair bonding can also be a technique used to get past LMR by feeling, or at least faking, pair bonding cues early in the pickup. For example, while on the phone, one could say, “I was watching TV yesterday, and I thought of you. I don’t know why. It is so annoying, it was like you just popped into my head and I couldn’t get it out. Weird. Anyway, where was I?”


Your pair bonding programming is kicking in when you physically feel the need to call the HB a few hours later after sex.

Related Terms: LMR, Oneitis, Emotional Connection

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