Mystery’s M3 Model

Originally by RedSeph, breaking down his understanding of Mystery Method

The M3 Model is Mystery’s breakdown and analysis of the COURTSHIP phase of any male-female interaction: meaning, the period of time leading into any full-fledged sexual relationship (be it a fwb situation or a gf/bf thing).

The general consensus is that from the time of meeting a girl to the time of closing a girl (depending on your definition–for adults it’s typically sex, while for younger teens it’s generally just making out/kissing. For older teens it’s generally somewhere in between depending on age & experience), to do all 9 steps it should take anywhere from 7-11 hours of total face-time w/ the girl if you are running everything correctly. This does NOT have to occur all at once. It can be a few minutes here, a few hours there, etc.

But the point is this: it should not take months & months of build-up. Rather, if it’s going to happen at all, typically it will happen within the first few handfull of dates. More specific time breakdowns will be added later for each phase.

{ ATTRACT -> COMFORT -> SEDUCTION } —> Relationship

Pretty much EVERY scenario fits into this model to one degree or another. If you don’t think so, you are probably wrong. Remember that this model covers COURTSHIP (the beginning phase), rather than the actual relationship phase. But then again, this is probably the area of most concern for many of you.


This is the first part of the courtship process. If you are dealing with a potential mate/partner and desire a sexual relationship with her, you MUST focus on establishing attraction first. This is CRUCIAL.

A1 – Open

You open the set. In other words, you meet the girl.

In a social circle situation, this can be as easy as “Hey, nice to meet you” or being introduced to someone through a friend. In a cold approach, this is usually done through an indirect opener, like “Yo, let me get your opinion on something.”

This stage also includes the SOCIAL HOOK POINT (for cold approaches). The social hook point is the pivotal moment in the beginning of a cold interaction where the set (the girls/guys whatever) WANT you to stick around for a little bit, because you are INTERESTING. This is done by hooking their interest through negging or an interesting discussion sparked by the opener.

A2 – Female-to-Male Interest

Simple: female gains attraction for the male. This is KEY. Notice how this step is IMMEDIATELY after A1 (the opener)…. this should show you just how important it is that you start attracting her ASAP. Often, you can transition seamlessly from A1 to A2 by negging off the opener:

Guy: “Yo, let me get your opinion… would you date a guy in a wheelchair?”
Her: “Yes/No”
Guy: “OMG, it’s okay, you can stop being nice… I know you’d just
use him to get free parking.” “Haha, you are a mean one… I don’t
know if I can hang with you *turn to her friends* She always like this?”

The guy CANNOT show too much premature interest in the girl. You should instead focus on gaining HER interest in YOU/HER attraction for YOU through the use of:

1. Stories
2. Leading her group of friends
3. AMOGing
4. Negs
5. C/F

Other demonstrations of high value (going up on stage to perform or whatever)

A3 – Male-to-Female Interest

Once you know she is interested in you, it is now SAFE to start showing interest back. This is because now that you have a SOLID FOUNDATION OF ATTRACTION, any interest YOU show is less likely to come off as NEEDY. Instead, you are in a slight position of power and in a position to judge if she is cool enough to hang with you (because she has already decided YOU are cool enough to hang with HER, due to A2).

How do you know if she’s attracted? IOIs (indicators of interest), that include touching, asking lots of questions about you, continuous eye contact, teasing back, negging back, etc. However, to fully convey that you are not needy, you are used to hot chicks, and that you are an overall awesome guy, you need to do two things:

Have her EARN your interest
Be interested in something besides her looks
A simple example of this is Mystery’s Bait-Hook-Reel-Release method:

Me: “Hey… tell me.. are you Swedish?” (Bait)
Her: “Yes… why?” (Hook)
Me: “Oh my god… I’m a SUCKER for Swedish girls…” (Reel)
Me: “I can’t even talk to you anymore…” (Release)
This is called qualification, when you qualify the girl as being worthy of interest. The B-H-R-R method is just ONE example of qualification, where you can deem her cool/worthy/interesting based off on pretty arbitrary bullshit (you may think it’s arbitrary but the girls will be intrigued). You can also make them work harder to earn your interest, through statements like:

“Hey, at first you seemed kinda dull… but now that I’ve talked to you a bit more, you’re pretty fun.”
“So… what do you have going for you besides your looks?” “Blahblahblah” “Cool, I like that.”
“I like your energy.”
“I like the way you carry yourself.”
[edit] Comfort
Before you can transition into comfort, it’s a pretty good idea to isolate, if only a bit. Like, lead her outside or to the other end of the bar or if you’re all sitting in a couch, reposition so the two of you are talking to yourselves at one corner of the couch. Just get some alone time.

C1 – Conversation

C1 is usually an extension of A3, except you’re no longer just trying to qualify her. You guys should be just CHILLING OUT and TALKING. This is to create a sense of COMFORT with one another. You know how old lovers can just relax together and just shoot the shit, sharing intimacies about themselves without really worrying? This is the ultimate goal of COMFORT and C1 is the beginning of that. So relax, tone down the c/f, drop the negs…. it’s time to see if there are any commonalities between you and her (there almost always are… and if there aren’t and you still wanna fuck her, then it’s not that hard to make them up).

By commonalities I mean… even if you are an Econ professor and she is a Penthouse Pet, there are still commonalities you can build by discussing OUTLOOKS and PERSPECTIVES on things (rather than the actual subjects themselves). Emotions and ideals and such can always be related to on some level.

Also, C1 is usually the last phase that you deal with at the meeting location (club, party, whatever). However, it is important that you end on C1, rather than A3 or even A2 (when she is attracted), because it is NOT ENOUGH to insure a second meetup if all you do is attract. You MUST qualify and you MUST establish some comfort, so she doesn’t just dismiss you as just another party/club-guy.

C2 – Connection

Connection is just conversation taken to the next level along the commonalities and “our-world” train of thought. Not much to add here except keep talking, keep sharing, keep creating that “us” vibe. Things such as vulnerability stories and letting her see a different side to you (maybe a more tender or chill/laid-back side) is good stuff. Kissing should take place at this stage.

This stage can take place over several dates.

C3 – Intimacy

C3 may or may not be in the same location as C2. Basically, C3 kicks in when you are in a prime position to FULLY CLOSE THE DEAL. So maybe you guys have a date at your apartment, cook dinner, cuddle together, talk a bit, kiss a few times (C2)…

Then the kissing becomes more intense. You guys are alone, so it’s good to go. The kissing turns into heavy making out/etc. Bam. C3. You’re ready to close this shit.


This is it. And this is a CRUCIAL step. You MUST seduce (fuck) her if you want a serious sexual relationship. Set the tone early.

Obviously, if you are in HS or dealing with a super inexperienced girl, you can slow down and adapt accordingly (to a 13yo virgin, making out may mean the same thing as sex to a 25yo partygirl in terms of courtship).

S1 – Arousal/Foreplay

Okay, so do your thing. Heavy makeout, necking, fingering, fondling, whatever… turn up the heat. I’m not going into super specifics here because the most important thing about S1 is NOT the actual techniques for arousal. Well, fine, those are important too, but it is key that this is when you start S1… and not before.

You may be tempted to push it and push it… say, back in A2, when she is all attracted to you and throwing IOIs. Or in C2, when you guys are out on a date and kissing… and you just start heavy makeout, starting touching her, fingering, whatever.

Everything has it’s place. Yes, you might be able to get away with it. But 97% of the time, if you S1 TOO EARLY, the girl will have buyer’s remorse. She will not have had sufficient time to feel comfort/connection/intimacy with you, so even if you DO end up fucking her, she will not want to see you again, CUZ SHE WILL FEEL LIKE A SLUT.

This model is for SOLID GAME (to lead into relationships). If you want ONS, stop at A3, pump the attraction, and fuck her while she’s on that emotional high.

S2 – LMR

To directly quote Mys: “Last Minute Resistance. This is the point of no return before sex occurs. It’s often a freak-out moment for the woman.”

There you have it. She may be like “This is too fast…” or “I barely know you” or “No sex… okay?” or just push you away from certain areas (like her underwear). You own LMR by defusing it with things like:

“LMRing” first (lol… so basically YOU say “we should stop…” first)
Ignore it with a cute reply (“This is too fast…” “Yeah, but it’s fun, right?” *kiss*)
2 steps forward/1 step back escalation -> if she won’t let you near her underwear, concentrate elsewhere, then go back.
[edit] S3 – SEX
Do it. And do it well.


This model is probably the most accurate model out there. You can already identify the problems that IWs have within this model. They start at COMFORT, rather than ATTRACTION, and thus end up on the friends ladder.

In order to fuck a girl, you MUST build attraction first. This is KEY. Once again, this is for SOLID game… this is geared toward building relationships or fwb situations. ONS is taken into account, but for an ONS, you just pump attraction and fuck her before it wears off.

Also, it is best to do the least amount necessary to transition from one phase to the next. Lots of guys like to stay in A2 for no reason except they like getting a kick out of watching the girl’s signals of interest. This is bad. Stop fucking around looking for validation reactions and proceed to the lay.

By RedSeph

mystery in set