Style: Okay, after I ask, ‘do you want to kiss me,”I know what to do if she says yes, or no, or maybe, or if she just hesitates. But, last night, someone said ”maybe later.’ What is the right response here?
Spanish Mackerel: “Maybe NOT.” I like to tease.
Mystery: “Would you like to kiss me.” ~ that’s how I say it. Interesting reply. I don’t think I ever had that. That is basically a yes … I would have automatically said, “wait a minute. I didn’t say you COULD. It just looked like you had something on your mind.” Or I could have used the “I bet that was the reason your last boyfriend didn’t work out. No spontaneity. *shrug*.”
>>It kind of threw me for a loop,
Mystery: hey, I say that all the time! cool.
>>especially since I knew I was in and getting tons of kino from her.
>>What I did was sort of tease her, and say something like ‘oh, really’
>>and then I turned away to face the bar, and pretended to ignore her.r.
Mystery: good. you did a PUNISHMENT for her bad behavior tactic. sweet. Bet it did the trick yes?
>>She, of course, came up to me, and tried to get my attention again,
>>and I slowly began to pay attention to her like before. It was sort
Mystery: haaa, I KNEW it. cool.
>>Anyone have any better ideas. (I ended up introducing her to a friend
>>while I went elsewhere in the bar, mainly because I wasn’t that interested
>>in her and just really wanted to practice the kiss close.)
Mystery: PRACTICE the kiss close. I like your attitude!
Primus: Chris, I have indeed experienced this response before, but to a slightly different question. Same intent, but different q. I was a working as a barman and I was busy doing standard bar tricks. This girl piped up that she knew one, so I let her come behind the bar and show me. It was some lame trick that didn’t work. I looked pensive for a moment then said, “That wasn’t very impressive, but it was a good try,” while smiling.”Now what would be impressive is if you could do that naked.” Then came the “Maybe later.”
At that stage all I had learned (about seduction) was from being expected to play the role of a bartender (make sure everyone feels special, happy and entertained and be openly sexual with ALL the girls)and from the rolling Stone article on SS in 98. I instinctively took this as an SOI. I DIDN’T hook up with this girl as as soon as she said that her friend suddenly HAD to have me. To me now, “maybe later” is a combination SOI and shit test. You dealt with it exactly as I would do if I encountered it, deal with it FIRST as a shit test, THEN recognize it as an SOI.