Moment of Realness

Quick Definition: A particular moment in time when our core personality shines through.

Full Definition:

The moment of realness is an action, words spoken, or something we do that shows a glimpse of our core identity. This is important in conveying who are really are and also can be used to convey identity quickly.

Movies do this very well with key sequences in scenes. In real life, they happen less often as, most of the time, we’re acting out autopilot behaviors.

Recognizing moments of realness in others can allow you to know who they really are. This can be a good or bad characteristic. For example, seeing a person give a disgusted glimpse at a homeless person, or tip to the waiter when he or she thinks no one is watching. These behaviors can be observed, and you get a sense of who that person really is based on their behavior in certain situations.

In game, conveying that you are not just “a guy at a club” is important. You want to quickly break through that social “haze”—Hey! I’m a real person. I’m right here. Good looking girls are usually better at conveying moments of realness, forcing others to quickly get past her looks in situations where she needs people to take her at “face” value. (i.e. duringa  business meeting when she’s not interested in meeting guys, but needs to come across as authentic”).

Julien in Prague on how a moment of realness completely changed his flake rate:


That was a real moment of realness, right there.

Related Terms: High Value, Lifestyle, Value, Identity, Core Identity, Social Hierarchy, Real Behavior, Grounding Sequence, Authenticity, Natural, Way of Attraction