Over the past few weeks. I’ve had the privilege of working as a male model in some minor fashion shows in San Diego. This last weekend was a lucky break in an editorial and I got to really hangout with the models at a hotel overnight and see the other side of the matrix. I want to share some of my insights into the world of modeling and how it relates to life, social dynamics, and success with women.
San Diego is a small town at 1.3 million compared to LA’s 8-9 million people. The $$$ and the industry is in LA (or Miami, or NYC). Because of our proximity we do get some coverage and events, but for the most part San Diego is a small chill beach town compared to LA and NYC’s hustle and grind. To really understand the agency world, I would have to be in NY, LA or a distant 3rd, Miami.
Type of Models
1. Professional, seasoned: these guys and gals have worked full-time for a few years and know the deal. They have grown accustomed to the attention, and are finely tuned to who their MUA (make up artist), hair stylist, and who the decisions makers are on set. Usually, they are very present, calm. Nothing is a big deal they have seen it all. The professional guy models can range from being super cool, to complete womanizers. The level of misogyny depends on that mode’s personal morals and life experience. Obviously, his ability to get and date girl models will amplify whatever his views on woman are to a higher level. In other words, if he’s the faithful kind who enjoys relationships, he will become more calm as he gets accustomed to being around extremely beautiful women all the time. If he’s the type of guy or in a phase of his life where he enjoys being single or playing around, he’s going to have a lot more temptation with the hottest girls. In most fashion shows, the girls outnumber the guys.
2. Wanna-be models / Part Time Models: in the B-C level shows and sometimes even A-level shows you will have models who aren’t really physically right for that part but they get in the show due to a connection, or they have a very pleasing personality or distinct feature. I fit into this category. These models do this for fun and not as a source of income.
Wanna-be-models can be super chill when they understand that modeling is not their primary source of motivation. The annoying-wanna-be-girls who cannot take feedback or have been in the industry without success for a long time are the most annoying. They have a unrealistic view of the industry. They also cannot assess social feedback properly and therefore cannot calibrate and evolve their look. For example, one girl I know has googly eyes in her pictures. Her look and poses needs work. However she has had this problem for months and still haven’t signed with an agency or gotten a lot of paid work.
Wanna-bes can only fake it for so long. Much like a Wanksta and pretend-to-be-hipster, eventually these people realize their true nature.
3. Younger teenage models: range from ages 14-18, the industry calls these “new faces” or “development”. They range from being super outgoing and sweet, to super shy. Parents are usually around at least to drop them off. I’ve found them to be super adorable and nice, and you can just chit-chat like 2nd graders without any sexual intentions and have fun. They are usually very excited to be on set. Sometimes, the younger girls get more quiet and follow other people’s leads in social situations or right before a performance. They’re just learning and looking at what others do first :) I think this is an evolutionary mechanism for survival back when things were a lot more raw.
4. Fashion Show / Shoot Staff: the host of the event, people working the venue, MUAs, hair stylists, stylists, all of these people are working with you, the model, as the prized accessory. I think sometimes they are the most thankless jobs. I make it a point to talk to them and thank them for their work. This goes a long way in building your reputation. I see other models who just go through the process or treat them like a cashier or a process in the machine, but to me they are real people. When I volunteered at fashion events in the past, I understood that the staff talks and remembers the models that were nice to them. And these comments make their way back to the agency, so yes, genuine attention to other people goes a long way.
Social Cliques Among Models
If you’re on-set for more than a few hours or more than a day, cliques start to form like in high-school. It has nothing to do with how a model looks, but rather their leadership and personality. If you are one of the models, you automatically get this massive passive social proof among all the staff. Basically its implicit that you have the most value in the show. I find this ironic because models can be replaced easily, but human nature has a strange way of placing beautiful people first, even if they are only “labeled” as such. There’s a weird effect when everyone is waiting on you for make up and hair and the whole room is basically catering to your beauty needs. This creates a social gravity point among the models, and over time, you start befriending and talking to other models only.
The more shows that you do, the more your social circle of models will grow, and you’ll run into people you know. Try to treat everyone with respect and avoid making enemies. Your neutrality will give you more power with the people you would like to get to know better.
How To Date Female Models
I suppose this is the part you’ve been waiting for. Well, honestly I have only recently begun this process. Here’s what I have observed so far:
- Some makeup girls and hair girls will chat you up. Easy to get their numbers. Check if they are single by casually mentioning if they have a roommate and if they go out a lot. Usually this will lead to the boyfriend thread. Sometimes these girls are cute, but its a mixed bag.
- The staff has some cute girls sometimes, but you have to be careful because they have the ability to spread word about you, and hire you for the next gig
- The people at the event usually are eager to take pics and talk to the models. Among these are fans, so give them your attention. With fans, you have to QUICKLY break the “star power” stereotype and talk to her like a real person. “Hey, this is me! I’m person X:, not Model X”. This puts her on the same level and she can relate to you. Girls will flake if they think you’re too good for them, because they fear rejection too.
- Other girl models. So, the good thing about this is that all the girls represent the physical idealization of western society. Long legs, beautiful curves, and gorgeous faces. As I have experienced, their personalities are a huge mixed bag. Just like any group of people, be it a work environment, campus, or bus stop. Treat everyone with genuine love and respect, and appreciate the fashion and the love of putting something beautiful together for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. By doing this, you are opening yourself as beacon of positivity, with no ulterior motives, and this in my opinion is the best approach.
- The best way to game a model is indirect, because she’s getting direct invitations left and right on Facebook, Instagram, and in person. You already have preselection because you are a model as well. She will give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you differently than other people. This is not a conscious decision. Her RAS simply hasn’t had the conscious time to evaluate this and this behavior is automatic.
Girl Model Types
Career Model Girl: C-girl has mad potential and knows this. She has chosen to follow her path. Usually, her face will be the most distinctive and everyone can tell right away she has a lot of star power. She will date, even flirt with guy models, but she’s usually putting her work first. She also usually have a boyfriend who allows her to put her work first. Most of the time, these guys are orbiters. However, sometimes, if they have been together for a long time, the boyfriends are usually super cool. They HAVE TO BE TO KEEP HER. They are friendly, nice, and understand that she works with hot guys all the time. Ironically it is exactly this attitude that allows C-girl to maintain the relationship that allows her the intimacy of the BF, while pursuing her career. Usually, the power balance is off, and after a few years C-girl will change guys. However, in the meantime, she may flirt and even sleep with you, but she won’t date you.
Cute Model: cute girl models will see me (or you) and immediately its a friendly vibe. You know there’s interest. Because you’re a “guy model”, as long as you remain friendly and cool, there’s a good chance you will see her in a dating situation in the future. These girls want to have some fun and deep down know that love is important and modeling is not forever. Or maybe they are going through a dating mode.
Crazy Model Girl: Smokes, takes drugs, parties till 2am with a 8am call time. This girl is crazy. I stay away from her. She will flirt and tease you and say she’ll chat on her boyfriend, but at the end of the night, she’s more trouble than she’s worth. I see guys chasing this and falling into this trap. When you do this, the OTHER girls will judge you too, and it becomes this whole fiasco of “skanky hoe steals model guy” in girl world. You want to be subtle about it if you’re eyeing multiple options for the best one for you, and crazy model girl is not it. If, however, you really want her, you can try and go for the adventure.
On the flip side, crazy model girl is crazy hot, and probably good in bed. She dates around and is unstable, but there’s always a story to tell.
Shy Model Girl: She’s tough to crack, but usually you can get her 1-on-1 and open her up a bit. This takes time though and you don’t have a lot of alone time unless it is a 1+ day shoot.
If you’re rooming with a girl model, lucky you! This happened to me over the weekend. 90% of the time, you can at least cuddle. In private, no one is going to pass up a cuddling session with a cute other half. Some girls are faithful to their boyfriends, and that’s cool. Usually, the single models will hook-up, or at least plan to meetup later. Sometimes though you run into a girl who’s just there for work or the fun, and not into the sex. Or maybe I just couldn’t get to that side of her. Remember, there are limited $$ and paying gigs if you’re not in the top 1% of good looking models, and there are unlimited girls who want to be future models. So, I prefer to pass up a girl than drum up bad press or PR in model world.
Dating Female Models
1. Be aware that this girl gets hit on 100 times a day on Facebook, Instagram, and probably 10 times when buying groceries. These are the rare top 1%. The “cute” models will also get hit on a lot and have guy orbiters. Just being a male model isn’t enough. In this situation, game is required. Projecting energy and controlling your expression of your true self. Expressing you and experiencing her, in full.
2. You WILL get looks from people and there is constant social pressure. After a while you get used to it and enjoy it. Don’t let it go to your head, it can just as easily go away. You’re not defined by what other people’ think of you. What’s between the two of you is exactly that: the two of you. The draw between two people in love.
3. When you hold a “male model” status and have pics to social proof yourself on social networks, the normal girls start crawling out of the woodwork and hit you up. Now you have game that goes beyond cold approach pick up. Congratulations player. Use this new status well, and as always, remember that celebrity status, however small-scale in comparison to movie stars, simply amplifies emotions. You can use that power to amp up positively and joy, or use it to throw your weight around (diva behavior). The choice is yours. At the end of the day, you’re going to fall in love with that girl who notices the little things. Taking care of you when you’re hungry when no one else knows. Touching your shoulder to make you feel comfortable when you secretly are not. These things make the difference. Model or not. Remember that.
Modeling TV Shows
I have found modeling shows to be great documentaries of how models behave among each other and with other people. If you are interested, checkout these shows:
- Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency (JDMA)
- America’s Next Top Model (ANTM)
- Elite Model Search (Hulu)
- 8th & Ocean (MTV)
Besides some physical attributes, becoming a model requires improving style finesse. Checkout how to develop model-like style sense here.