Mastering Body Language

Originally posted by Señor Fingers at SoSuave forums

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Women are experts at reading your body’s unconscious signals. It is the closest thing to telepathic communication there is, and yet most of us guys are oblivious to it. It is a tricky business because you have to not only focus on how you communicate these signals, but also interpret hers. This is one of the first things you need to work on. Trust me!

Film Yourself
Just as you can improve your voice with a tape recorder, you can improve your Body Language with a video camera. If at all possible, try to get someone to film you at a social gathering. It is painful to watch yourself in the beginning, especially if you are as awkward as I was, but this really helps you to pinpoint your weaknesses so you can improve on them. Highly recommended!

Here are some areas you should pay attention to:

I was once a huncher. Shoulders rolled over, head down, very submissive body language all around really. I used to approach girls and they would always seemed creeped out by me. (Gee I wonder why) I didn’t know how bad I was until one of my girl buddies pointed it out to me. She was a professional dancer, and as part of her training at dance school, she learned how to perfect her posture. Although I thought it was a ridiculous idea at first, but she finally dragged me into a few classes so I could learn…

The Alexander Technique

I could go on & on about how amazing this technique is, but will just share a few highlights that helped me improve.

The Importance of Symmetry – Using your mind, imagine an invisible vertical line dividing your body in half. Try to create a sense that each half is a mirrored image of the other. Aside from the ergonomic aspects of this, it has been scientifically proven that in nature, symmetry is an attractive quality. In other words, don’t cross your legs when you sit, and don’t shift all your weight to one leg when you stand. Be balanced.

Spinal Alignment – Think of your spine as a stack of coins. Each disc of your vertebrae should be balanced on top of the other, with your skull comfortable perched atop. The key is to become aware of your posture, which alone takes practice. I printed the words “Sit up Straight” next to my computer as a reminder and it worked for me. When you catch yourself slumping, imagine your head as a helium balloon pulling your spine straight. Try to keep your ribs and hips aligned with each other as much as possible. When you bend over, bend at the waist and slightly bend your knees, instead of curving your spine. It takes practice but basically it is a balance of keeping yourself upright without looking like a stiff jackass. You find your alignment and at the same time relax into it. To really get a feel of how your spine is supposed to be aligned, lay on the floor on your back and bend your knees. so your feet are planted on the floor. Take a few deep breaths.

Trapezius Balance – The trapezius is one of the most abused muscles in the body. The problem is that we either hunch over too much or overdo the opposite extreme by sticking our chests out. To find the ideal middle-ground, imagine a force pulling your shoulder blades apart and widening your back, this not only helps to release the tension stored in the midsection of this muscle, but also increases your perceived width and presence. I have had people ask me if I have been hitting the gym ever since I adopted this posture! The upper section of the trapezius also suffers alot of tension, this is the muscle that stretches from your shoulders to your neck. This tension can be alleviated by becoming aware of your collar bones. They should always form a straight line, parallel to the ground. In other words, don’t scrunch them up so that they for a “v” and don’t push them down so the form an “A”

As you can see, it is very difficult to explain this technique with words. But the effect of it is amazing. Not only do you appear more confident, but adopting this posture actually makes you FEEL more on point.The classes, though expensive, are well worth taking…or you could try dating some professional dancers

For more info on this, check out

Improving your posture is definitely worth your while, but will only get you so far. I mean you are not going to sit/stand still as a gargoyle all night are ya? Sooner or later you are going to have to show some

First of all, slowwwwww down there, Speedy. By maintaining a relaxed deliberate pace, you create a subtle sense of confidence and peace about you which you completely internalize and radiate onto others. React calmly to everything around you. Don’t whip your head around or dart your eyes to absorb your scenario. Turn slowly and dont let your body transmit messages of shock or fear. Act like you are GOD and the world is all yours and its all good. Carry yourself with respect/pride and people will assume you are a king amongst men.

Also don’t gesture too wildly when you speak. It is great to accent your speech with gestures but your arms should not be flailing unless you are telling a fascinating story and have reached a dramatic climax. For the most part, you should try to keep your hand movements around the waist/ribcage level. Also, unless you enjoy looking real insecure and nervous, don’t bite nails, fidget or play with things in your hands. Don’t know what to do with those fingers? Either hold a drink, let them hang at your sides, or best of all, get some kino going!

In the animal kingdom, males are known to increase their perceived size to attract females. Exude an attractive, confident vibe by leaning back and taking up as much space as possible. In other words, try not to sit like a girl! Spread those legs like you have a 15″ cøck and its the only way you can sit comfortably. When standing, keep your feet about shoulder width apart. Fill the world with your presence!

Interpreting Her Signals Pay Attention to her posture/gestures
ANXIOUS – Fidgeting, foot tapping, nail-biting, rigid posture, no eye contact, spastic motions, shoulders scrunched. (This bytch is fukkin CRAZY! Run away!)
DISINTERESTED – Feet are pointing away from you, body leans away, arms are crossed, glancing at watch, fleeting eye contact with no smile (Looks like you got some more work to do)
INTERESTED – Feet are pointing towards you, body leans in, palms are exposed, smiling or laughing (Getting warmer)
SEXUALLY INTERESTED – heavy eye contact, stroking of hair or any object in hand. Raising one eyebrow in a subtle twitch. Lip licking, side-long glances, tilting head at an angle (kind of like when you are about to kiss) Stealing glances at lips, neck, chest while biting her lip, (She wants to eat you alive)

Indicators of Interest How does she respond to you?
• You get close to her and she doesn’t step away.
• She laughs a lot, even at your weaker jokes.
• You make eye contact and she smiles.
• You say something insightful and she gives you the DDB look. (Doggie Dinner Bowl)
• You tease her and she makes witty comebacks of her own (Oooh, this one’s a keeper. Better keep them skills sharp son!)
• You keep teasing her and she hits you playfully (Extreme flirting, she wants you!)
• You touch her and she touches you back.
• You try to leave and she keeps talking to you.

Mimicking Signals a.k.a. “Mirroring”
When I first started working on my game, I would mirror people all the time. I’d adopt their pose, even their breathing in hopes that I could create a shared experience with them. It worked pretty well in terms of pacing their reality, but I found I had better luck when I just used it to calibrate their feelings and then led them with my body language. After all, when dealing with a nervous person, the last thing you want to do is escalate this vibe by mirroring it. These days I have more fun with what I call…


Extreme Mirroring
Remember when you were little and you would imitate and mock what people said, just to be a pain in the ass? This is the same concept applied to body language.

I love to do this. Sometimes I will see a HotBabe who is all stuck up and walking with an exaggerated swagger, so I walk up behind her and imitate her perfectly, pushing my nose up like I am a snob. Usually gets a few laughs from the crowd and surprisingly enough, the babe!

Other times I will come across an apprehensive chick who I can tell is a little wary of me by her crossed arms, knit brow and lack of eye contact. So I copy her to the point of outrageousness and unless she is an evil bytch, I usually break the ice with a few laughs. I have discovered this method on my own but was recently intrigued by Tyler Durden’s take on this…

in field work sasha pua