Quick Definition: A feeling of deep caring and/or affection for another person or entity.
While the community started out as a means to get laid, one cannot talk about seduction without a basic understanding of the feeling of love. There are many definitions and cultural viewpoints on love. One cannot deny that throughout man’s history, love letters have been discovered that cover the love feelings of great men and normal men alike, across cultures and ages.
Helen Fisher conducted extensive studies on brain level MRI scans on the feeling of love. She differentiates love between “romantic love” vs. “normal love”, and studied the effects of love between people who have loved over many years, and those who have been rejected by love.
She summarizes years of her work in this TED talk here:
Fisher explains the 3 brain circuitries around love:
- Attachment – the feeling of being closely connected to a person. Attachment can happen between friends, men, or women who we are not having sex with.
- Romantic Love – the feeling of “falling in love” and being high on dopamine when thinking of or with that person.
- Lust – this is the feeling of sexual needs being fulfilled – sexual attraction is not always compatible with romantic love, however orgasms release dopamine and oxytocin in women, and it is more likely (for men and women) to fall in love if they have sex over a long period of time.
Ekhart Tolle has as similar, more spiritual definition of love, and explains what the difference is between selfish and unselfish love:
Addictive vs. Enlightened Relationships
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form. In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.
Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. IT does not make one person special. IT is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of the ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. The bond that connects you with that person is the same bond that connects you with the person sitting next to you on a bus, or with a bird, a tree, a flower. Only the degree of intensity with which it is felt differs.
Love is all that we need.