Quick Definition: A belief that holds one back from reaching one’s true potential.
Limiting beliefs are something that a PUA must overcome if he wishes to develop solid inner game. Limiting beliefs vary from person to person, but generally take the form of “I can’t” statements or limitations on what a person thinks they are capable of.
Common limiting beliefs include:
- “Women don’t find me attractive.”
- “I’m not a social person.”
- “I’m not good looking enough/tall enough/wealthy enough to get attractive women.”
- “I’m no good at public speaking.”
- “I can’t dance/sing/cook/whatever.”
The truth is that human potential is almost limitless, and it is never too late to learn a new skill or improve an area of one’s life. Although there are a few limits imposed by one’s genes and physical traits, few people ever push themselves hard enough to reach these physical limitations. Instead, they are held back by their minds.
There are many different techniques that can used to overcome one’s limiting beliefs. One method is though affirmations: repeating a positive statement over and over again until it becomes a concrete belief. For example, if a person’s limiting belief is that women do not find him attractive, he could repeat the positive affirmation: “Women find me irresistible,” over and over until he comes to believe it.
Another related method of overcoming limiting beliefs is to put one’s failures in the past. For example, if one’s limiting belief is “I’m not good at talking to women,” instead of repeating that negative statement over and over again, one could put that statement in the past: “I never used to be good at talking to women, but I’m working on it every day, and every day I get better and better.” Putting one’s perceived failures in the past allows one to acknowledge that what was true in the past does not necessarily have to be true in the future. This helps to change one’s self-image.
Another method of overcoming limiting beliefs is to find a positive counter-example. For example, if one believes he is too short to be attractive to women, he could go out and find examples of men who are just as short, if not shorter, who are still incredibly successful with women. Seeing is believing, as they say, and there is no surer way to destroy a limiting belief than to witness its opposite.
Finally, one of the best ways to overcome limiting beliefs is to surround oneself with positive people who have the traits that one desires. One usually comes to believe the things that the people around him believe, so it is important to surround oneself with positive influences. Having such people around oneself will help to pull oneself up to their level and dramatically improve one’s growth.
There are other methods of overcoming limiting beliefs, but the key thing to remember is that the greatest limitations that one encounters in one’s personal growth are often in the mind, and that human potential is nearly limitless. As Napoleon Hill, an expert on personal growth and success once put it: “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
On a more earthly note. Oracle of Sweden notes the following:
- If you have a belief that is limited, you will never have the ability to achieve goals beyond it. Your mind becomes your prison.
- If you have a belief that is unrealistic, you may have a chance to achieve it, or achieve some resemblance of it.
Thus, if one has limiting beliefs, one will never achieve his/her goals, whereas, if one has beliefs that may seem unreasonable, the possibility to achieve it still exists.
I used to have the limiting belief that I was no good with women, but now I have more women in my life than I know what to do with!