I never really understood why some of my friends, in the past, have gotten angry or distant from me when I started gaming their friends. Questions like, “are your friends cute?” seem harmless, but they pack a certain punch if that is what you are asking a girl when she is inviting you out with her friends.
The realization came when Serum started gaming my roommate like it was another target. I realized immediately the pure inequality in the equation.
Roommate Friend = 6.5HB Asian girl
Serum = PUA
Risk of alienating me if relationship becomes more than friends: High
Risk of relationship not working out and being weird: High
Potential conflict of “whose house guest is this?”: Medium
Reward for full closing a HB6.5 Asian girl: relatively low
Weirdness of Serum sleeping in his old room overnight with roommate: High
Risk of jealously from best friend (Me) while gaming roommate: High
And to be honest, when I thought about this I just got really angry. Why risk a good friendship over a mediocre 6.5? IF she was a SHB10 Blonde, sure, got for it, I would be gaming her too but this is a case where the rewards do not justify the means.
Thinking more on this, I realized that most of my female friends (and I only have a few, as I do not easily make female friends and maintain relationships consciously) I introduce Serum to, he has somehow gamed. By gamed I mean, actively pursued 1 on 1 date like activities and attraction building (on purpose /i.e. consciously). And it is this feeling that I have that, when you have a PUA friend, they tend to game any other friend like a “target” that really pissed me off. This anger also made me realize what my other friends must think of me when I think of every girl as a potential target.
This event has made me realize that I don’t want to be that guy who is labeled “a player” and games every girl he sees. This is a DLV both in my co-worker circle as well as in other social circles. I want to be that cool guy that everyone meets, that the girls fall for over time without even thinking about it because of my charisma. And I want to be a man who appreciates his friends, and just because I have pick up skills, it does not mean I have to use them all the time. Having the mastery means having a choice: the choice between respecting friendships and sexual relationships, and being able to convey both and calibrate depending on the timing and circumstances.