• Let’s Just Be Friends (LJBF)

    by AlphaWolf & Co.

    Quick Definition: A statement uttered by women, which essentially closes the door to a sexual relationship—being put in the friend zone.

    Full Definition:

    LJBF is a common way for women to try to soften the blow of rejecting a man’s sexual advances. LJBFs occur usually because an AFC builds too much comfort with a woman without building any attraction. It is often a precursor for oneitis.

    It is extremely hard to enter a sexual relationship after one has been LJBF’d, though it can be done through the use of jealousy plotlines, pre-selection, and DHVing. Usually, it is best to make one’s sexual intentions clear upfront, so that a PUA does not waste his time chasing after someone who is not interested in him. A LJBF that happens at the beginning of a relationship is much better than one that occurs after investing a lot of time chasing after a woman.

    In some cases, the man is the one who says “let’s just be friends.” This is a very POWERFUL tool that women use, and men can flip it to use on women. Once you take sex out of the equation, she has no more value to you, speaking from a biological perspective. Therefore, her values must now be seen in the light of friendship. What are some of her qualities that make her a good friend?

    Ways to flip the script on LJBF:

    “I’ve decided. I am NOT. Going. To. Sleep. With You.”

    Calibration: “no offense to you. There are some girls that I want to sleep with. You just happen to not be one of them”


    “I really value my friendship with you, and I think we can become great friends.”

    When a PUA says this, he must, at least on the surface level, mean it. And most PUAs that have options do. They have other girls that are just as hot and fun as this one, and they oftentimes will befriend a girl simply because she’s a good girl friend.

    Kezia talks about how to get out of the friend zone:


    I was LJBF’d by the last girl I dated.

    Related Terms: Friend Zone, AFC, Oneitis, Precedence, Jealousy Plotline, Direct Game

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    Reserpino January 27, 2010 - 12:11 pm

    Dear friends, my nickname is Reserpino. I am Italian, so… Sorry for my English.

    I really like Gambler’s book and I really trust him, because his seduction theory is supported by a lot of study and experience.

    I am a medical student, so I think that a lot of trials are necessary for believing that something is true.

    I would be happy if you could give me some clarifications about Gambler’s theory.

    My question is really simple (and it is addressed in particular to people who agree with Gambler):

    Sometimes we know a girl in a context in which we can’t talk to her for more than three-four minutes.

    Contexts in which we can’ t be immediately seductive, because we are at work, for example in a hospital (we are doctors and she is a doctor).

    So… Is there a way for slowing down the seductive process without risking the friend zone?

    Can we use the SAME SEQUENCE OF INTERACTION ACTIONS Gambler shows in “Natural Game” in situations that we like to develop slowly?

    So: Can I be mr. sociable for the first 2 minutes one day, then mr. comfort for the first three minutes another day and then mr. seducer another day?

    And, in general: how do you think the seduction process works in a situation like the one in my example? Maybe in these cases the sequence mr. sociable > mr. comfort > mr. seduction don’t have the same value. What’ s your opinion.


    LionKing May 21, 2010 - 3:43 pm

    Watch a show called “Grey’s Anatomy”, observed how Dr. Shepherd and other male doctors hit on their fellow female doctors. Hope it’ll help!

    Dean Fox July 17, 2010 - 2:21 am

    Interesting, with the video though it would have been better had it not been filmed backing on to an open window, too much back lighting. Next time face the window with the light coming from behind the video camera, makes for a better video.

    Matt T September 16, 2010 - 3:39 pm

    If you think a girl is going to LJBF you, it’s usually because you’re oversaturating her with platonic attention like an AFC does.

    You can’t go wrong with just ignoring her for a month or so and focusing on gaming other girls, then trying to start again.


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