Quick Definition: The act of taking command of a situation, and leading men (and women) into specific actions or scenarios.

Full Definition:

Leading is very important in pickup, and it applies to other areas of life as well. The traits of a good leader can inspire groups and others to take up a cause in your name, or in the name of a greater good. In seduction, despite mainstream media changes over the last decade, women still want men to lead.

In set, knowing the phases of attraction (i.e. M3 Model) can be very attractive. Knowing what to do, how to isolate, how to lead a group of girls into a different section, how to get her home without showing her off as a slut to her friends are all part of the leading process in seduction. Effective leading throughout the interaction is necessary to a full close. For women, it is very attractive to meet this type of man who knows what he is doing.



Leading does not mean using extreme force or pushiness. Often times, the most effective leaders use influence, or a slight force in the right position. For example, grabbing a girl’s arm and turning her by lightly putting three fingers on her arm and turning her gently but deliberately is one effective method of leading. The same can be said about dancers—the most effective male dancers can lead the women without making them feel forced to move. Rather, they are guided to move in the direction of the male leader and, in doing so, can show off their displays of femininity through their dance moves.


Leading is one of the quintessential skills in the art of seduction.

Related Terms: Alpha, Frame, Frame Control, Set, Bounce, Us-Bubble, Isolation, Boundary Function, Congruence