As artists sometimes we try to change and the world frowns upon it. Your friends, associates and even family are not used to the new “you” and if feels uncomfortable because it is unfamiliar to them. And as human beings, we fear and generally dislike the unfamiliar. Human nature has made us fear the unknown. You can’t change human nature.
A deep identity change through experience sometimes need to be maintained for it to take effect. Coming from from Brazil, I FEEL different. Yet, in my interactions since coming back for a week, some people still react the same way towards me, despite me having a totally different, more confident frame. Don’t let this discourage you. As you continue living your life in you new identity, more and more people will take notice. New friends will be introduced to the new you. Remember that public opinion always follows real change.
I am back in Sunnyvale and I hate this place. They say you hate that which you most fear of becoming, and I am not sure I agree with this. I am annoyed at the scene. A couple of events that happened over the past week:
- I go back to work and realize that I work with people that are unmotivated. I see the fire die in their eyes. As smart as they are to have landed offers at Google, they have resigned to the fate of their roles, with no ambitions to move up in the organization or do something for themselves. This is a sad sight.
- I go to salsa class, and find 2 other PUAs and 2 guys who are clamming and trying hard to 2 get/bounce mediocre looking girls. It was then that I realized that guys here HAVE to try hard. There aren’t enough girls to go around. The very act makes me shake my head. As I introduce myself I realize that there’s a tingling of fear in their eyes that I MIGHT steal their girls. Wow. What a sharp contrast to DD, who I met in Brazil when he said, “Listen, I am saying sober tonight and the priority is to get YOU laid. We do this every night and you are our visitor! So I won’t compete with you for the girls”. Talk about hospitality. And I appreciated it. He had mad game.
- I walk around my apartment complex. I see old people, kids. Indian and Chinese families. One ugly looking blonde girl who thinks she’s hot shit. Old women wearing robes as they go swimming because their culture won’t allow skin showing. Chinese people speaking Chinese and generally avoiding eye contact, walking around with plaid shirts and khakis, with a complete lack of physical fitness or style. God I hate this FUCKING town.
- Today I saw some cute Santa Clara girls at Safeway. Wow. First 7+ HB in 7 days! They’re probably preparing for the new semester. It was then that I realized I LIKE being in the presence of women. Hot women generally. And the town I live in foster a mentality of passiveness and chodeness.
I hope that I can maintain the learnings I have had in Brazil. It has become clear to me that my current lifestyle requires a MAJOR overhaul. Time to make some decisions and step up.
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