Inner Demons

Quick Definition: Refers to a person’s biggest fears and challenges in obtaining his dreams and goals in life, which may or may not be real but is a strong psychological barrier in moving forward in life.

Full Definition:

Inner Demons plague everyone. They are the barriers that make it hard for us to enjoy life or to achieve our pickup goals. For Jeffy, it was dealing with his past family life; for AFC Adam, it was about growing up poor and not reacting when people taunted him with threats of having money. For some Asian guys, it is dealing with the media stereotype of the Asian male in the United States. For other people, it is can be anything, from looks to their relationships to wondering if they are truly loved.

inner demons

Awareness of inner demons is particularly important in understanding the stories that we tell ourselves. Often times, these demons are the origins of our limiting beliefs about the world at large. Because inner demons are so personal, often times their resolution resides with the individual. Instructors can guide guys through it, but they have to drink the water themselves. The emergence of PUA forums online has been particularly helpful, as guys anonymously or through an online moniker lay out their deepest fears and their journey to combat them.

Psychologists (like Freud) argue that these inner demons never really go away, and that we must keep them in check, for they are our “darker self” and represent who we are as human beings. Nonetheless, a strong awareness and desire to understand and harmonize these demons must be met in order for someone to become a master in any art.


All great PUAs and even great people in history have had to face their innermost demons

Related Terms: Congruence, Inner Game, Social Pressures, Limiting Beliefs, DHVs, Grounding Stories, Identity

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