For many guys, it starts with a beautiful smile on a lovely body. A subtle head tilt and enlarged irises. She’s hot. Hotter than most of the girls you’ve dated so far… and she seems to like you. Her facial structure elicits a pleasing neurological response from your brain, and her body elicits a different type of response from your other brain.
Perhaps you’re on a date, or you’re hanging out with friends. She shows you signs of interest and she’s actually intelligent. Well, intelligent enough not to be totally stupid and annoying. Maybe you leave her with a kiss goodbye, maybe you walk her to her car in the morning. Either way, it was a great experience. You find yourself thinking about her for the next few days, despite having other dates, or having important work to do. This is where a girl you actually “really like” can go into rotation, and start a “dating process”, or maybe you’re the kind of guy that just prefers to see this one and see where it goes.
Unfortunately, somewhere along this dating process, she suddenly goes cold. Texts get returned slower, phone calls aren’t picked up. She doesn’t suggest another date to hangout, and instead offers up excuses and says she’s busy with other “important things” that aren’t related to her dating life.
This is where most guys panic. Oh no! I’ve lost her! I need to get her back? But you can’t lose something you never possessed. In fact, I would argue that you never truly “possess” another person. They’re not your property. We are human beings, with our own volition and therefore, freedom to spend time as we see fit, no matter how destructive or constructive the activity.
Due to my extensive experience “interviewing” for corporate type jobs, allow me to use my knowledge is job interviews to showcase how this situation can be handled.
How Dating Is Related To Job Interviews
JOB: Guys think that just because a manager says he likes you, that he has the job. Until the offer letter is in writing and is legally binding, you don’t have an offer.
GIRL: Guys think that just because he sleeps with a girl, she’s his. We ignore that fact that women sometimes fear commitment, or want a better guy. Unless she’s mentally captivated by you, and in love, you don’t really “have her”.
JOB: Guys think that a lucrative job must be great, with a high salary. They don’t think about the consequences of the workload
GIRL: Guys think that just because a girl is the “hottest” he’s gotten, that she’s valuable. When in fact, there could be many other negative qualities he overlooked
JOB: Most guys beg for jobs and are grateful. The person who adds the most value never fears “getting a job”. Mark Zuckerberg was offered 1 million dollars in high school while he programmed music app by Microsoft. He rejected the offer.
GIRL: Guys find hot girls who are hard to get a prize. There are so many other hot girls out there. But we develop feelings for this one because we think its the best we can get. The correct process of to focus becoming a guy who all women find attractive, and you’ll never run out of fish in the sea.
JOB: A job can only be kept with ongoing value-add, otherwise it because “just a job”, collecting salary. When he’s eventually “let go”, he’s wasted his time in not developing skills that are valuable in the free market.
GIRL: A hot girl without investment or passion or compatibility is just a relationship that many guys maintain to keep the sex. It becomes an obligation, a trading of time and affection for physical satisfaction. Over time, neither party is happy, and the guy, when dumped, is left without the skills of attraction and the wasted time.
JOB: A good candidate gets offers from many companies, a bad candidate begs for a job and is grateful for having one.
GIRL: A true man gets offers to be in relationships from girls on a regular basis. An average guy begs for a relationship and sex with “the hottest girl” he thinks he’s entitled to.
JOB: Until you have an offer, keep interviewing. Lookout for yourself. Don’t leave your future well-being in the hands of someone you don’t know.
GIRL: Until she’s fully committed to you (you can test this via the concept of compliance), keep dating other girls. Unless you have a serious conversation about where you both stand, diversify your options. Girls do this all the time. She has multiple guys who are interested in her at all times, if she’s a 8+. Guys think that same thing applies to them, but we are hunters. If the hunter stops hunting, his leads dry up. Women are harvesters – they qualify all the guys trying to sleep with them, and have options at all times. A successful guy can build a lifestyle where he’s the prize at all times, but until then, he needs to hunt and be proactive. Never assume someone is going to give you a “job”, “love”, or “sex”. Lookout for yourself first. Only then can you truly lookout for the other person without the poisonous ulterior motive.
JOB: Sometimes, you knock an interview out of the park. There was no reason NOT to hire you. You’re confused and upset.
GIRL: Sometimes, there are factors outside of your control. Maybe she’s sick. Maybe she’s pregnant. Maybe she met another guy. Maybe her Ex Boyfriend called. You just don’t know. Worrying about “whether I’m as good looking as her Ex” is just mental waste. In a job interview, maybe they thought you were too good for them and you would not stay. Maybe the job opening got cut. Maybe they really want to hire a girl. You just don’t know. So don’t waste your time and move on.
To recap, How To Get Over A Girl You Really Like (Who’s not showing the same interest)
1. Show her respect and treat her like a friend. Return texts as needed, but don’t be needy.
2. If you invite her out a few times, and she keeps giving excuses, STOP. If she wants to, she will tell you when she’s free.
3. Keep her in friendly group texts, but be aware of non response and eventually, cut her out emotionally. Just group text for the event, not for her.
4. Keep gaming. Sometimes, girls are dealing with an Ex, or family matters, drama. Keep gaming and let her sort her things out.
5. Some girls lack discipline, she flakes on herself. She misses rent, appointments, is always late. Don’t let sometime like that negatively influence your life, no matter how hot she is. Life is too short and hot girls too are too abundant.
6. Guys tend to think that “something is wrong with me”. Maybe the sex wasn’t good. Maybe she didn’t like the way my bed smelled. Sometimes, it could be a very little thing. One text I do is “hey, promise I wont bother you again after this but, what exactly was the reason for _____. This will help me in the future, thanks in advance!”. When you text this, make sure the event has blown over, usually after about 2-3 weeks of no contact, and you’ve both moved on. This removes the initial pressure. Some girls still won’t respond. Don’t let their life decisions affect your emotional mood. Stay an independent island. Life is too short for anything else. One time, I found out a girl thought I was too mean to her. It wasn’t the sex, my penis size, my ethnicity. Our minds have a way of playing tricks on our ego. It could be a hundred little things. Since it is out of your control, don’ waste time over thinking it. Briefly summarize the relationship and note things you could have improved, and then, file away and move on.
7. Instead of thinking “oh no, that’s the hottest girl I can get!”, think “awesome. I now can get hot girls like this. Onto the next”. As your game improves, so will the quality of girls. Men age like wine, women like milk. Time is on your side. That said, don’t waste it eating Cheetos on the couch.
8. Consider visiting a place that has a lot of girls who look like her. Maybe it was a modeling event. Maybe she was an Eastern European beauty. Take a trip to Prague. Belarus, You’ll realize that girls like that are a dime a dozen. Then you’ll actually find a girl who looks as hot as her, who is actually more compatible with you, and has more love to give. Don’t settle.
No Fear. No Distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide – TD.