date: Mon, 19 Aug 2003 18:30 GMT
subject: How to change youself_IV …It seems fruit-cakeish but you’ve just got to utter this sentence like you mean it. If you don’t, then do something so that you do…
Controlling Your Emotions and Inner States
Now to address the idea of ‘states’. By ‘state’ I mean the feeling that you have in your body. Many guys that I know make themselves feel horrible when they think of the idea of meeting women. This way just doesn’t help.
Can you remember a time when you felt happy and excited? Can you remember a time when you felt powerful and energetic? If you can, then you can HAVE THESE FEELINGS ANY TIME YOU WANT THEM. Most people don’t use their memories to help them feel good because they say “Well, that’s not really how I’m feeling, I’m just imagining it.” Well, I have news for you: You’re ALWAYS just imagining it. You might as well imagine it at times when you need it instead of having it happen on accident!
Here’s how to apply this idea:
Write down three states that you’d like to be able to put yourself into anytime you’d like. Then, write down three times in your life when you felt each of those states. Finally, close your eyes and put yourself into each of the three situations that made you feel the state that you want. Also, do SOMETHING UNIQUE with your body as you’re remembering. For instance, if you’d like to feel powerful and confident, while you’re remembering times when you felt this way, breathe out quickly while puckering your lips.
If you do this process of remembering the states and exhaling quickly at the same time, all you have to do in the future is close your eyes, breathe out quickly while remembering the feelings, and you’ll have the states that you want. It’s like having a ‘push’ button for feeling good about yourself.
Next, you have to practice putting yourself into your three powerful states when you’re in different environments. So go to different places and practice getting yourself into your states with distractions, etc. This might take some doing, but once you have it mastered, you’ll be able to get yourself into a positive state when you’re not feeling it to begin with (Could this exercise be useful when you’re feeling shy or afraid to meet someone? Maybe!)
Start this exercise by closing your eyes and making a picture of the you that you would like to become. Imagine how you would be standing, how you’d be breathing, what you’d be wearing, the expression on your face, etc.
Now go a little further and imagine what would be inside that ideal self: the beliefs you’d have, how you would deal with different situations, why your posture is held that way—because you were confident, relaxed, etc.
Finally, imagine what is behind that ideal self; what are some of the things that ideal self would have been through to have that image, what are the experiences that formed its beliefs, etc.
Get the whole image together and make it as vivid as you possibly can. You can always go back, add, or change this image as you think of things you forgot to add or want to modify. Now take that image and throw it up in the air so far that it’s just a tiny dot you can’t even see anymore.
Now watch it multiply into a million of them which start falling down all around you in every direction— into your past, your future, ahead and behind, above and below, everywhere. See it inside all the experiences you’re going to have and everywhere you can look, all the way to the horizon.
Get all you need, then come back and open your eyes. I’ve done this exercise for years. It can be used any time you want, at a crowded bar, a concert, a business meeting, etc. Just do it and see it everywhere. The more you do it, the more you will become this person.
The timeline exercise is a little more involved so you’ll want to get comfortable before you close your eyes. Imagine there’s a line that represents your life. The past might be behind and the future ahead, or the past could be to your left and the future on the right, wherever they naturally happen to lie for you.
Next imagine that you’re starting to float and slowly rise up and above the line. See it from a different perspective, remembering the spot where you were. Gently float backwards over it while looking down and seeing recent experiences go by. Accelerate as you go further back to times when your significant memories are spaced further apart, all the way back to beginning of line.
Now land at the spot where it begins. Perhaps you even see the lines of your mother and father crossing your line. Take one step back to just before the very start of your line. Now imagine an eternal source of love as a glowing golden light floating in through top of our head, through your heart, and out your chest onto the beginning of your timeline. As it starts pouring out, it starts to light up your timeline.
Light it up a little at first and make your timeline glow brighter as light continues to flow. It’s lighting up the line further and further out. You might see dark spots that represent trauma, things that happened when you were younger but as more light pours the more you relaxed you become and the more those dark spots lighten up. You might start to feel better as light lightens up the line.
Think that energy and float up over your timeline. Notice how the dark spots are brighter and you might have a brighter feeling about them, you might float forward to now and see dark spots reframed in a different way as learning experiences. With a relaxing breath you come back to now and open your eyes.
Do whatever you want inside your own personal time and space, and use this exercise to heal and recharge yourself. Though the effects may fade a little days later, each time you do it they can become a little more permanent and even the blackest spots can be lightened with enough healing energy.
“I Like Myself”
This exercise may sound foolish, but it’s an easy way to give your positive energy a boost. Say “I like myself” 10 times, even if you need to say it through gritted teeth.
It seems fruit-cakeish but you’ve just got to utter this sentence like you mean it. If you don’t, then do something so that you do. Say it like you mean it and actually LIKE yourself while you do it. You must convince yourself that you do.
One of the most powerful anchors to failure is lack of self-esteem and the associated negative outlook. You must give yourself permission and feel that you deserve success.