It’s happened to all of us before: we see a girl, we are attracted to them, and we want to figure out how to go say ‘Hi’ in a way that will melt her heart and her nether regions. You walk up to her, your knees shaking, and you freeze. Nothing comes out. And you start to stutter and stammer, just like you did in high school…oh wait, is that just me? I digress, but you can relate.
For some reason, we have created this image in our head that there is a ‘right’ way to approach a woman that we find highly acceptable and a ‘wrong’ way to do it. We need to get that out of our heads. We need to understand that it just ‘is’. Once we can fully grasp that, it becomes easier to move onto the next step in our approach. And this step comes long before we ever open our mouths. It happens even before we learn what to say and how to say it.
We’ve heard it before countless times but confidence is the most attractive thing to women. Once we are confident in who we are and where we are going in life, it seems that what we say and how we say it comes out naturally. We aren’t worried about what we are doing or if we are following this certain pattern because, well, we know how freaking amazing we are and what we have to offer and we are merely going up to this girl to see if she is a good fit for our lives.
This mentality is crucial for approaching women. For too long have men put women on pedestals and thought that they had to lower the women’s status to make themselves look higher. And this works for the short term. But long term, this is merely a band-aid for a gapping wound in your game. Confidence, once again, is the key to attraction. Know what you have to offer and know what you are looking for. Walk in with the idea of wondering, rather than lusting.
Now that we have the confidence and the mindset down, we can finally think about what to say. I like to group ‘openers’ into three categories: low risk, low reward (LL); medium risk, medium reward (MM); high risk, high reward (HH). Each one has it’s pro’s and con’s but they also have a certain niche in each style of game that they fit.
A LL opener would be asking a girl for the time. She is almost always going to answer (low risk), but you can hardly make a conversation out of it(low reward). This an amazing open for day game if you come back with something along the lines of “Honestly, I just wanted to talk to you and couldn’t figure out a way to say hi”. Cheesy, maybe. But powerful if you are confident. I only use this when I honestly cannot think of something else to say. I like the other two types of openers more, but like I said, these all fit each person differently.
A MM opener would be the classic Opinion Opener or Situational Opener. My favorite canned OO to use is the Chubby Chaser Opener coined by JohnnyC69. It seems to just send the type of message of “I am a fun guy” to the girls.
The best type of MM opener IMO is the Situational Opener. Comment on something in the surroundings, something going on in the situation or the environment around you. If you see a carseat at a bar (happens more often than you would think) ask the girl the rhetorical question “Why is there a carseat at a bar? That parent should get the ‘Parental Achievement of the Year’ award.” All you are doing is creating a topic for her and you to talk about. You can comment on her dress/hairstyle/ anything other than just flat out looks. All of these are going to create a conversation easily and more readily than the LL openers, but still you aren’t getting much out of attraction just with these openers.
That is where the Big Daddy of openers come into play. The HH openers are direct, Blow me or Blow me out mindset. “Hey, you are cute, let’s go bone.” Simple, eloquent, but almost distasteful for most of the American population. However, studies have shown (and a few field testings myself) that 1 out of 20 girls will leave with you, right then, at a normal club/bar. There really isn’t much to say about this other than you have to be uber confident in order to pull this off and the girls that you do pull are probably just going to be that, ONS. To each his own my dear friends.
There you have it. Three different types of openers, three different types of interactions, each with your own goal in mind. However, I cannot stress this enough that all of this is dependent upon you being confident. If you are timid at all, then you might get ‘lucky’ once or twice, but you will never get the results you are wanting. So go, work on yourself, work on your body language, work on your mentality. And when you are about to go up to a girl, remember these words “I wonder if this chick will be cool.” Nothing more, nothing less.
And of course, let me know how it goes!