How Much Asian Is Asian?


Reiko Aylesworth is an American actress of Dutch, Welsh, and Japanese descent. You might remember her as Tony’s wife Michelle on the TV show 24, or perhaps you have seen her more recently on the TV show Damages. You probably did not see her in her nearly naked glory in the movie The Killing Floor, but you might want to check that out. I’m a girl, and I still kind of want to. Apparently, she’s quite a hottie.

But someone told me something strange recently about the sexy clothed-or-unclothed Ms. Aylesworth: “She has that vaguely Asian look.” Yes, I needed clarification, too. Vaguely Asian? What is that, like being a little bit pregnant? How is someone vaguely Asian?

I THINK what they were getting at was that you can kind of see a hint of something exotic and Far Eastern about her. Okay, I’ll give them that. But it made me start to really look at my fellow human beings and start to try to figure out which ethnicities were buried deep down in their mutthood somewhere. My good friend who keeps insisting that he’s originally from England is actually descended from ancestors who arrived in America back in 1624, and I totally plan to call him on his British-poser status someday. Maybe he’s vaguely British.

Of course, somehow, Beyonce’s baby is also vaguely British since she’s 23rd cousins to the new Prince of Wales. Go look it up if you don’t believe me, Mr. Doubty Pants.

So what does this kind of thing mean for all those part-Asian people running around, going about their everyday lives? Not a damn thing. Be Asian, be British, be Heinz 57, whatever. We’re all people. Hot people, normal people, boring people, and rolling around naked in a movie people. Just go be people and make beautiful vaguely something-or-other babies with each other.