Context: A must read for all FB relationships
By special request, I decided to put up some guidelines for having a Friend with Benefits or Fuckbuddy. I made an old post in the previous forum where I posted the FwB Rules of a fellow mASFer, but I can’t seem to dig it out of the archives right now… so I’ll give you guys what I’ve learned over the years and what I’ve experienced myself:
1. Be HONEST about the relationship – to both HER and YOURSELF
The biggest trap that guys fall into with their FwBs is that they do not clearly delineate the relationship… as a result, they either trick the girl or even themselves into eventually believing that the relationship is something “more.”
A FwB is someone you have access to and enjoy FUCKING regularly. She is not your girlfriend. She is not your soulmate. She is not even really your friend. She is your FwB… your FUCKbuddy. FUCK her… don’t LOVE her.
Now, I’m not saying you can’t fall in love with your FwB. Far from it. However, KNOW what you’re getting yourself into. If you want this girl to be a GF, then she is NOT your FwB, she is your GIRLFRIEND. But if you just want the girl for SEX, then fully EMBRACE the FwB situation.
2. Don’t see her too often.
When I have a FwB, I generally like to see her about once or twice a week. Why you ask? Shouldn’t I be fucking her nonstop, getting as much as possible?
Well, that’s nice. But it’s dangerous. If you want this girl to be your GIRLFRIEND, then yes… hang out with her, spend lots of quality time with her, go on a date with her, sleep over every night, whatever. BUT, if she is your FwB, then you should be seeing her pretty much ONLY for sex. This goes back to being honest with yourself. The more OFTEN you see her, the FASTER she will develop FEELINGS for you… so that is the tradeoff: do you want a consistent once/twice-a-week lay for a longer period of time? Or are you so horny for this ONE girl that you will fuck her and hang out with her and treat her like a true-blue GF, causing her to fall for you FAST?
* Don’t sleep over. – I’m serious. Don’t sleep over. It’s okay to cuddle for a while, but DON’T sleep over. She is not your GF. The only exception is when she is dropping by from out of town and she has nowhere else to stay except your place.
3. Bring your A-game at ALL TIMES. Don’t “bond.” – Once again, if you want her to be your GF, that is another matter. But if she is your true-blue FwB, you must ALWAYS be fucking on your A-game. Be FUN. Be PLAYFUL. Tease her, be cocky, CONSTANTLY ATTRACT HER. The whole REASON she wants you as her FwB is for the SEX and the EXCITEMENT you bring. Don’t disappoint. Don’t reveal some gay IW side. STAY SHARP.
4. Don’t brag about other girls.
So you are popular with the ladies…. So what? Most probably, she can STILL pull just as much dick (if not more) than you can on the same night… BUT she’s with you. She’s seeing you just for sex, because you are THAT good. Show some respect.
Although she is not your GF, if you want this FwB arrangement to last, then you MUST maintain a relationship of equal respect and power. A FwB relationship INHERENTLY denotes an agreement between individuals of equal power and stature (well, until she develops feelings… in which case, you have much more power/influence) – you are trading sex for sex. Why compare cocks? Just enjoy yourself. Don’t pull childish stunts or brag just for the hell of it. Just straight-up enjoy the sex.
If she brags or tries to make you jealous, just LAUGH IT OFF and FUCK HER HARD. Don’t brag back. It’s just gay.
5. Fuck her WELL. Period!
No excuses for this one. Like I said, you guys have a SEXUAL AGREEMENT. If she is not delivering, DITCH HER. But inversely, you must ALSO deliver. If you suck at sex, GET BETTER. FwBs are there so you guys can go WILD. Experiment with new positions, play out fantasies, try some kinky shit – the POINT of the arrangement is SEX after all.
ALWAYS make sure she’s satisfied, even if it means cutting back on your own needs a bit. PLAY with the relationship. DON’T get BORING and PREDICTABLE. Sometimes, when I’m with a FwB, I will be like “Hey… wanna do something cool for 5 min?” Then fuck her for 5 min…… then pull out. Tease her. Have FUN.
6. The clock is TICKING!
It is the cardinal rule that if you keep fucking a girl consistently over a long period of time, she WILL start to develop feelings for you. The only way she won’t develop feelings for you is if she falls for some other guy. In the case of the latter, she will probably stop fucking you because she wants to be with this other guy (if he is BF material). In the case of the former, where she starts to fall for YOU…. well, you must make a decision: do you want her as a GF or not?
Understand that either way, your FwB relationship is pretty much OVER. If you reject her feelings, she will not want to fuck you anymore, because she will feel you are a lost cause. It is very possible to drag a few more lays out of her, BUT this usually leads to mad drama and pain for everyone. If she falls in love with you and you DON’T want her as a GF, just tell her “Let’s stay friends” and END it smoothly.
FwBs are not super long-term commitments at all. Due to the very nature of women, they are arrangements that CANNOT last over long long periods of time. So ENJOY yourself while you can and make sure SHE doesn’t regret the time she was your FwB.
The ultimate lesson from these guidelines can be applied to any situation, any girl, any relationship: Be HONEST with yourself, KNOW what you want, and GO after it.
Women are not goddesses. They are not magical deities. They are human. They are fragile. They are wonderful. By all means, let them enjoy pleasure… but NOT AT YOUR EXPENSE. Sex should be a MUTUALLY-PLEASURABLE thing.
If what she wants is not what YOU want, then there is no need to proceed further. It will only lead to pain and drama. Just NEXT and move ON. DON’T compromise your desires because you “feel bad.” That’s not love. That’s PITY or SYMPATHY.
Being a man means being confident enough to protect and appreciate the ones you care about. HOWEVER, it also means RESPECTING others enough and having WISDOM enough to WALK AWAY when you foresee a clash of desires/needs.
Be honest. Be strong. Enjoy yourselves