date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004 21:11 GMT
subject: Four Alpha tips …Here is another self-esteem issue. Asking the taxi driver, “Can you take me to the airport?” is a way to avoid letting her know your wants are important…
1. Replace the word ‘need’ with ‘want’. You don’t NEED a ride to the airport you WANT one. No matter how desperate you feel, you WANT, maybe you WOULD LIKE but you never NEED. Even if you stagger out of the dessert, you don’t NEED a glass of water. You WANT one.
Saying ‘need’ implies there is a bigger, more important authority behind your request. It says, “Don’t blame me if I am asking for too much. I’m nice and would never presume to think you would give this to mere me. There is a bigger, more important authority that is making me ask for this.” ‘Need’ is the word of the weak. Use the word ‘want’. That says you are important enough to ask for it on your own authority.
2. Replace service questions with service statements.
Here is another self-esteem issue. Asking the taxi driver, “Can you take me to the airport?” is a way to avoid letting her know your wants are important. Try a direct; “Take me to the airport please.”
3. Try to limit your use of the phrases; “You know?” or “See what I’m saying.” When you use these you are subtly checking for approval.
4. Try to be for and not against things. Negativity is the cult of the weak. You risk noting by being against things but you can gain nothing either.