A few weeks ago I encountered some setbacks in my life as I had certain events that made me think about my career and my love life. I won’t go into too much detail on these, as I would like to keep my private life privae but I will outline the general issues. I have been talking to a lot of different PUAs and these issues can be re-occurring themes.
Setback 1: Being told you are not as good looking as you think you are, people pointing out physical flaws about you, which are true, but in your mind you have always ignored it or blocked it out.
Setback 2: Antagonism from other guys in a bar, living in a location with high single male to female ratio
Setback 3: Feedback from work that I am sometimes too sexual with female co-workers – which sometimes actually leads to a very flirty relationship at work (and outside). This is not necessarily a bad thing, but the feedback I got from my mentor was that I need to be aware of this more and how other people may perceive me. This was an important point, as I was previously unaware that corporate robot types may be jealous or wary of those who bend the rules, especially at work. My career is my livelihood, and I should be aware of these things and only make a decision to consciously game a girl if she’s open to it and if it is safe for both of us.
Encountering these issues, I wrote a post saying “fuck the game”. In reality I was just really angry at the time. Since then, I have slowly pieced together parts of the puzzle. I will try to explain my mind set. In essence, I thought about putting PU and gaming on hold to focus on my career.
And this thing keeps fucking happening in my head:
Logic 1: If I focus on my career and start a side business I can make lots of money. Money will make me happy by getting me what I want and girls will like me more.
Logic 2: If I focus on game and it doesn’t work out, then I would have lost time developing my business. “You can lose a lot of money chasing girls, but you’ll never lose the girls chasing money”.
Fuck. So this thought pattern keeps happening to me, and when I face failure in game, I turn to this dilemma. Now, I can’t tell you what to do when this happens. But I had to dig keep to reassess my own values, and make a decision based on who I was and what I am about. My search progressed somewhat like this:
1. I was a virgin until 23, and by then I had read The Game. Girls never came easy to me. Thus, if I put this on hold, I may keep what I have developed in Game, but this skill to bed women will never come naturally to me if I do not make a dedicated effort to change.
2. Why did I study business? There were 2 main reasons.
A. I never wanted to be controlled by other people such as in the government.
B. I believed that money can make me happy.
3. How would money make me happy? This was an important question, because money is a means to an end. The first was security and power. To have enough of that to feel safe, and have the power to help my friends and family. This is a very important factor in life. The second reason money was helpful in my happiness was that it will help me attract women. This second reasoning needed further thought. As I thought about it more, there are plenty of guys who are poor that get laid. Also, the things that money can buy will help with attraction, but they absolutely do not replace attraction. In other words, you can be as rich as Bill Gates, but you still needed Hugh Hefner’s game to bed quality women consistently.
4. I am 24. How many years do I have left to game young girls? This is the peak, a man’s prime is at his 27/28th birthday. If I wasn’t going to get laid and enjoy women now, when will it happen? This is a HUGE opportunity cost.
After these considerations, I humbly put my ego aside, and sought out help from other PUAs out there. I figured, I am making enough money and my job career progression is pretty advanced at 24 that I can focus on gaming. I want to develop the skills to consistently get lays, yes, consistent lays – even here in the South Bay. Only then will I be able to focus on business and long term financial foundations. Because without this, I am nothing. When I work on my business plans, all my mind wanders to is a beautiful woman. I feel empty inside. And you can throw all the money in the world at me, but I’d trade it in a second for a life at the playboy mansion.
A few thank yous for the recent help I received from PUAs:
- Adash (AKA Swedish Nanny King): for providing insight into workout mentality, gaming mentality and natural game with European girls.
- Shogun: for showing and winging me during my first ONS pull
- BubbaJohn: for providing insight into direct game, and how MM can be good later on, but in getting experience first, direct game works.
- EC: for offering advice and guidance on the forums