Flame relating to Day 2

A day 2 is any kind of meetup/date/hangout session that occurs after the initial meet/open. This can range from something as simple as coffee, to watching a movie together (either at the theater or at home), to a full-blown dinner with candles and music.

A lot of guys seem to have trouble with what constitutes a good day 2 and some just plain don’t have any ideas on what to DO with a girl… so they fall for conventional cliches (like dinner, or a movie at the theater). These CAN work, but they AUTOMATICALLY place you in a disadvantageous position where the GIRL is judging YOU. For example, most girls will tell you that a solid date is a romantic dinner at some fancy restaurant. BUZZ! Wrong. These are pretty shitty dates, ESPECIALLY for a day 2 (which implies that this is the 2nd meet, or the FIRST real “date”). Why? Because it automatically sets you up as, not only conventional, but in an interview-style setup where the two of you are uncomfortably facing each other across a table, all dressed up and waiting for expensive food.


The core idea behind good dates is COMFORT. Good day 2’s create COMFORT BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. I don’t mean they have to be BORING or UNEXCITING…. NOT AT ALL. However, they are meant to establish a degree of FAMILIARITY and COMFORT between the man and the woman involved… WITHOUT TAKING AWAY FROM ATTRACTION.

You don’t want it to be like an interview session, where you bombard each other with questions, blindly groping around to see if there is any common ground. This is how most dates end up, with two people just asking and answering, asking and answering until voila! maybe you hit a common ground! Otherwise…. it falls FLAT.

NO NO NO. Instead, view it as quality time, where the two of you can begin EXPLORING and LEARNING about each other. You want to tease and c/f a bit like you initially did to attract her, but in this case the main goal ISN’T to push her away till she starts chasing you. She’s already there. She made it. It’s time to show her what you’re all about, WHY she should sleep with you. And VICE VERSA (THIS IS IMPORTANT).

Just as you are revealing more about yourself to the girl (and hopefully wowing her as well as establishing comfort), so should SHE be doing the exact same to you. She should want to reveal things about herself to YOU and hope to IMPRESS you.

Good topics of conversation that are open-ended enough to create lots of interesting conversation as well as room for value-demonstration are:

-life goals
-values (what’s important to you)
-what you love about life
-powerful/new/interesting experiences you’ve had

Notice the trend among these: they are not focused on trying to find similarities or “safe” things to talk about, so much as they are mediums through which you can not only share WHO YOU ARE… but ALSO engage her EMOTIONALLY. Girls will get bored if you talk about computer games, pwning on ladder, and why Zerg vs Protoss is imbalanced on Azalea. HOWEVER, they will get INTRIGUED if you focus LESS on the hard data of the game, and more on how COMPETITIVENESS and SUCCESS are IMPORTANT to you, how these shape how you approach your life. You could talk about how any girl you are with has to RESPECT that passion for challenges; how any girl you are with has to share that sense of strength/confidence and be able to back you up against life’s challenges.

A minor aspect of day2’s is that you can also use this as one final opportunity to really demonstrate some value. Maybe you met this girl at some party where you knew no one and couldn’t really show off as much of your social status as possible. You can invite her out with YOUR friends and show off your social connections/popularity. Maybe you have some amazing guitar skills. You can show off by making the day2 at a concert you and your band are playing at.

Here are some solid day 2 ideas:

-cooking dinner together (she brings xyz, you’ll have the abc)

-chilling at the mall, shopping for something YOU need (like making her help you shop for sunglasses and then trying on all the goofy sunglasses and having fun with it)

-movie at home (movies at the theater are overrated and CLICHE -> watch a classic dvd at home, make popcorn together, make out on the couch)

-something exciting/exhilarating (one favorite of mine is taking trapeze lessons together at the NYC Trapeze School. it always gets the adrenaline pumping and excites her, because she has probably never done it before)

Basically, anything that creates and strengthens at sense of the two of you, being in your OWN WORLD.

And remember… these things are just casual DATES/DAY 2’S. It’s not about MARRIAGE or TRUE LOVE or anything like that. Yes, those are all important things. But why stress yourself out?

At this point, it should be about having fun, making love, sharing yourselves with each other. So PLAY.

That said, be READY. Though I’m all for going natural, at this point, I advise sitting down and having a general outline of what you’re going to be doing and what you’re going to be talking about. She’s 17 so she’s probably not going to be as savvy or tough as some slightly older girls. HOWEVER, it never HURTS to have some decent shit ready in case you find yourself stalling.

By this I mean:

– a few funny stories (I mean legitimately funny… go practice telling them on your friends)
– a few comfort stories (like… slightly serious shit taht reveals gems about your inner self, stories that clear up a bit of the mystery of this super-fly cocky guy)
– some good neg/funny teasing stuff that you just spit out unconsciously… for example, I have a “pg-13” type teaser, where if a girl reminds me of some really hot model/superstar/celeb, I’ll be like “yooo… now I know why you looked so familiar… you look EXACTLY like angelina jolieee… but i dunno… not as hardcore, not as SEXUAL… more like, a pg-13 version of angelina jolie!”

The reason for having all this “canned” shit is so that you can totally concentrate on the shit you DON’T have down… you told us that mostly you’ve been talkin to this chick through txts, etc. That means this meet is SUPER-IMPORTANT, because anyone can be OB or tough or pimp through second-hand communication mediums (IM, phone, etc.). Going natural convo is good, but having the canned shit allows you to spit some interesting convo WHILE concentrating on the important shit like BODY LANGUAGE, VOICE TONE/VOLUME, KINO, EYE CONTACT.

Fuhror gave some good advice on getting kino and possibly sexual intimacy up early. This is because you showed her you are a SEXUAL and CONFIDENT being, and you need to be CONGRUENT with that. This of course, depends on the actual details that you presented. My personal game is to be more chill, more refined, funny party-loving player dude with secrets… I don’t go caveman often and my kino is very escalatory (it builds up naturally and supports my verbal game rather than going all out). So when I chill with chicks, I have no problem having fun and just CHILLIN for a bit, because all throughout I am constantly and slowly escalating.

This whole date can be seen as a sort of SHIT-TEST, at least right until you FUCK her. Why? Because you straightup told her you are cocky and pimp and she digs that… but girls can never be won on words alone. This whole meeting is for her to see if you are what you say you are.

How is she gonna shit-test you? For one thing, SHE will INITIATE KINO. So it is SO FUCKIGN IMPORTANT that YOU dictate when/where/how you guys touch each other. She’s gonna touch you, grab you, rub against you, all this shit to see if you can handle the heat, to see if you’re just gonna buckle up and fold at first contact. BUT YOU WON’T? Why? Cuz you’re a fucking player dude, all this shit is just STANDARD BS, you’re picky as hell, you only want a girl who can give more than just ASS (ok, you’re not yet, but get into this mindset). So if she touches, smirk at her, push that hand away (noooo haha but do it), and be like “cmon… this is the first time we’ve gotten to see each other since the party… chill” THEN YOU kino HER. Like, “aww, slow up… we’re moving too fast” *smile* *slap ass*. See what I mean? Kino is YOUR GIFT TO HER, NOT HER GIFT TO YOU.

A good opening move when you first see her is “heeeyyyy” then you lean up like you’re gonna kiss her, STOP, then say “lets get going” or “cool house. let me use your bathroom” and move on. It’s just such a MONEY move from the get-go, because she will understand that you know how to PLAY, that you’re not NEEDY, that this shit is gonna be FUN FOR BOTH OF YOU.

Don’t forget to dress COOL. I don’t mean just look NICE. That’s BORING. Look hot, look fly. Girls pay attention to DETAILS. You have to look like you are the shit without looking like you are try-hard.

Regarding the date venue, if you don’t just end up chillin at her house, have a set plan. I recommend either the mall (lots of different stimulus, cool shit for you guys to play around with) or a nice coffee spot, where you can just sit and chill and talk. The key is that the main attraction is YOU, so you don’t need fancy shit to win her over. Insecure needy fuckers try to win the girl over with THINGS, like a fancy restaurant. These things are nice and have their place, but the main attraction is you, so you gotta play this vibe like you are comfortable anywhere, just talking and screening her (yes, you must give off the impression that you are screening her, so she will feel the need to chase and “win” you).

A respected member of the fs.com community had this really awesome date thing where he’d be like “hey, if you’re good and fun and make it worth my time to hang out with you… i’ll give you a special present at the end of the date.” then the girl got all amped up and at the end of the night, he took her to an oriental bathhouse… except she didnt have a swimming suit, neither did he, but he was fucking smooth and this whole thing was CONGRUENT, so they ended up getting in there naked and fucking.

I’m not saying you should do this, but just have this mentality of PLAYING.

P.S. when you’re going to pick her up or talking to her the night before to confirm, tell her to look pretty for you. “hey, remember, you gotta dress up and look hot for me. if i see you and you look like you just got outta bed, i’m jetting.” 1) it’s cocky and 2) girls love it when you tell them to look pretty, because this shows you can appreciate it when they put in the effort. and it sets the tone of her doing things to please YOU, which is always good.

By Flame