This year has been an eventful one for me. In this post, I’ll talk about my progress in game. That is, how skillful I have become in attracting women and getting laid.
A few months ago I moved a little further north from Sunnyvale, CA. Not too far up. About 3 exits. Those of you who have read my Brazil trip remember the post about coming back from an abundance reality to a starker reality here in The Prince and the Pauper.
Recently, my game has improved significantly. I am unsure what it is. A combination of being on the right path, and also finally attending a bootcamp. You guys will recall that I quit my job and given everything I have been doing now, I feel like I am moving in the right direction. I will write a post about staying motivated when you don’t have a fixed schedule at a later date. Anyway, not working a corporate job anymore, in addition to seeing Tyler Durden and these guys in action really changed me. The infield videos showed me that I wasn’t that far off in my interactions.
At the same time, it showed me that a little tweak here and there can have a subtle but very important difference. The simple fact is that when I speak, sometimes it comes from a place of “wanting something”. But we read about this ALL the time on the forums. To experience it and conceptualize it in footage and then later on in field was something else. There’s a calmness about the way a man speaks that either rings true or gives away his insecurities. What I used to do, however was to draw attention and energy from the girl. Saying things in a way but also unconsciously expecting her to react to it. Instead, I should have been speaking as if I’m playing a game with her.
This is hard to explain in words and I would think that at this point I should stop. You will find this level of unconscious abundance in this video here. As Tyler explains, there is a balance between INTENT vs. Abundance Mentality. Intent is the level of engagement someone has with another person. Abundance mentality is the idea that his thoughts are so deep in abundance that he always knows that the next girl to fall in love with is just around the corner.
Tyler on Abundance (no I am not a RSD Junkie)
I remember reading Gambler’s book and in it, he says you get used to certain types of girls. 8s are no longer exciting and now you want 9s and 10s. I see this now. Lately I have been sleeping with a solid 8. Beautiful brunette girl. And interestingly, I now feel less intimidated by the hotter 9s and 10s. I know what her body feels like. The soft light skin. The tightness of her thighs and the smoothness of her lower legs as I glide my hands through them. It’s no longer a mystery. That being the case, my standards for the quality of girls I sleep with has also gone up. Once you have it, it becomes less of a prize. Nonetheless, there’s something great about sleeping with a hot girl that just makes you feel like life is worth living.
High Status Businessman vs. Out there in the “field” man
One of the moments this year that I remember was when I spoke to Owen (Tyler Durden) and asked him a very important question, “Owen, what’s up man. Listen, lately, pick up (cold approach) is always hard and seems like a burden to me. When does it become fun?”
He looked at me for a second in a very chill way.
“That’s cool man,” he said to me, “keep watching.”.
I looked at him. “Ok…”
He sensed that I was wanting more so he tried to explain, but still maintaining his chillness:
“Just keep watching (the in field videos) and the rest of the seminar. Hopefully something will come up.”
The way he said it sub-communicated that he thought it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s ok”. Whether he intended this or not, I may never know. But at that moment and the 20 minutes thereafter when I thought about it, I realized that its ok. So what it doesn’t have to be fun right now. But hopefully one day it will be.
A video I found of him later on explains the love vs. money dilemma that I constantly have. The truth is, it is great to be like Hugh Hefner and live the lifestyle. It is also very redeeming to hit to “streets” and keep your skills sharp. Perhaps the best mix is a combination of cold approach and lifestyle building. Having this allows you to keep developing your skills and also, have a great life. Like the prince who has the power to govern his land, he also travels and goes on his own adventures, often times without other people knowing he is a prince to see what people are really like. As human beings, we have both of our good and bad characteristics.
Cold approach is going to have an inherent level of rudeness and unpredictability about it… would you rather be the gentleman up in the castle, or Hans solo, down in the dirty grit battling aliens and storm troopers?
Another concept that drove home tonight was Intent vs. Outcome. I’m still on my journey to understand this fully, but it was the same forces at work when I got my Google offer and 5 other offers because I had high intent, but I also believed deep down that there were more than enough jobs out there at the time (2007). The freedom from outcome, with high intent takes a certain level of mental control. Having high intent and being in the moment takes practice.