In the beginning, an aspiring PUA must step out of his comfort zone to achieve new comfort thresholds because what has felt comfortable in the past has not worked. Studies have indicated that it takes at least 30 days to instill a behavior as a habitual routine.
Incongruence occurs when the PUA says things that are alpha and portray a certain character, but inside he still does not believe it nor has the lifestyle to backup his behavior and comments. Women will often use shit test to see if men are being congruent and are the “real deal” as opposed to someone who is just faking it.
There is an inherent paradox in the community about congruence. A man can be a total loser or nerd, but be very congruent with who he is. In this case, he is congruent with his uncool image. In order to change his image to become “cool” and attractive, there will be a period where he takes on new things and behaviors that will at first seem incongruent to who he used to be. The key to doing this the right way and avoiding this paradox is to try out new things but always remember your original goals in pickup and your core values. This way, congruency with core values will stay, while your outer game remains open to new changes.
Source: Real Social Dynamics