Cognitive Reappraisal

Quick Definition: Reinterpreting one’s emotional stimulus for constructive learning

Full Definition:

There’s an age-old cliche that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Well this couldn’t be more true anywhere else as it is in the world of pickup. One you get really good at the game you can expect to live a life of sexual abundance. Your sexual choices won’t be limited to your friend’s cute sister or your crush from class, and you’ll experience the lifestyle of a rock star. But along the way you will have some pretty harsh experiences. You will be rejected, called out on, put down and embarrassed. This is inevitable. But what’s in your hands is how you look at these hurdles.

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A lot of pickup artists whose emotional resilience isn’t strong tend to take these bad experiences in the game personally and let it affect their self esteem and confidence. While there are others that will view these experiences as challenges and take it in their stride to face them head-on.

Cognitive reappraisal is a strategy for regulating one’s emotions. Say for example, if your boss doesn’t select you for a promotion, you might feel as if it’s an indicator of your worth as an employee and feel inferior to those around you. But by using cognitive reappraisal, you are able to re-evaluate the situation and make it constructive. Instead of viewing this particular rejection as a measure of your self worth, you can view it as a challenge to step up to and overcome.

Likewise, as a pickup artist it is important that you be able to cognitively reappraise the many setbacks that you are inevitably bound to face. For instance, if a girl rejects you on the approach, instead of feeling that you are unattractive and not worthy of a beautiful woman’s attentions, you should be able to view it as a lesson that will teach you to become better with women in the future.

Like the great Micheal Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Jeffy from RSD Nation on Cognitive Reappraisal:

Usage: Cognitive reappraisal helped him overcome his initial rejections and use them to his advantage.

Related Terms:

Emotional Resilience, Resilience, Positive Feedback Loop, Rejection

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