There are many reasons why some dating coaches maintain the attrition rate of new students in the seduction community as 95% within a 6 month period.
95%!?! For every 10 students, 9 of them give up within 6 months? That’s a huge number, if it were statistically true. I have no idea if it is. Based on my personal experience over the past 3 years I believe that roughly, for every 10 guys that join:
- 4 guys drop out without giving it significant, disciplined effort. They run into their fears and it stares them down. They start making excuses as to why PU doesn’t work or limiting beliefs about their job, race, height, weight, etc.
- 3 guys get relatively good, and make significant improvements from their original dating life. But, they end up in a mediocre relationship with the first girl that loves them (I was like this too) and then get “comfortable” without achieving true “Choice”
- 2 guys achieve true “choice”. By this definition, it is a man’s power to have options. In other words, he has the skills and abilities to CHOOSE receive sex and intimacy from a girl that he is very attracted to, at any point in time. A fellow PUA once told me: “having 1 option isn’t really an option. It’s an ultimatum. Having 2 options isn’t really having options, it’s a dilemma. Having 3 options or more means having real options.”
- 1 out of 10 guys get super good. Some become instructors. Others use their PU skills and leverage it as businessmen, artists. These guys not only have choice, but they have a lifestyle that allows them choice with the hottest women that usually guys have to compete fiercely over.
I thought I was the shit by practicing on the occasional weekends but it wasn’t until recently that I see how much more I have to learn. You see, I made a decision to quite the corporate 9-5 to start my own business. This is a huge choice and it has impacted all areas of my life. Going out on the weekends and being a rockstar and then returning to the office on Monday and feigning beta-ness to report to the bosses just doesn’t jive, and I think may people lie to themselves about reasons as to how this could work. It doesn’t work for me. Your lifestyle must be congruent to your real identity for true happiness.
It is true that everyone has different masks and different personalities for different situations. If I was the CEO of my own company, I can’t exactly act like a rockstar in a staff meeting. Unless maybe if I was the CEO of an entertainment company (Think Ari Gold, Entourage). To get good or to find that happy life, you have to make a decision regarding your full time job and how it aligns with your personal goals in the long run. Until you do this, you will always feel a sense of disconnect and that “something’s missing” feeling, like Mr. Anderson before he was “rescued” from the Matrix.
A funny thing happened to me in field this weekend. I got ridiculously harsh reactions. I also got really good ones. Before, the bad reactions would get to me. Now, they were irrelevant. The brain does not register it. Next focus, next interaction. This has transferred into my professional life as well. Most of the tasks at hand are “busy” work. The real 20% of the work that bring in the revenue should be your priority.
Obama showed the same focus when someone asked him if a racist comment should be punished. Irrelevant. Does not help achieve goal. He eloquently dismissed it, and then focused on talking about what he’s going to do to change the game in Washington. Once you know your life goal, the regular distractions that used to shake you or show up on your radar simply becomes irrelevant. Bad set? IRRELEVANT. Bitch shield? IRRELEVANT. Shit test? IRRELEVANT. TIME TO FUCK. (Jeffy!)
Your unconscious and conscious minds join forces to filter them out. Consciously, you identity useless or negative comments that do not help you achieve your goal. Unconsciously, your mind puts up this “emotional barrier” against the feelings of attack, embarrassment so that they no longer emotional deter you. Sometimes they may still sting for the first few seconds, as social rejection is biologically imprinted in our brains as a negative association but this feeling goes away relatively quickly instead of staying with you and affecting your state over a longer period of time.
Define your life goal. The distractions will fade away.