Banter Lines

Posted by Vapor

She drops/spills/etc. something, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

Posted by Eclectic
‘You’re so cute when your angry’ (squeeze her cheek)
Posted by Dr. Zeus
-Which one of you guys would win in a fight?
-You’re taking this way too seriously
-Stop flirting with me
-If that were true, you wouldn’t love me
-You must’ve driven your parents crazy
-Give me a kiss on the cheek, and maybe I’ll let you forgive me
-I’m too high maintenance for you
-What else do you like about me?
-I’m so out of your league
-Let’s play a game. Let’s see how long you can hold your breath
-You’re back to square one with me, missy
-You’re so outside the circle of trust

-How short are you?
-You’re such a player
-You guys remind me of the Power Puff Girls/or/ You guys are like watching The View
-Do your parents know where you are
-Isn’t this a school night
-You’re makeup is smudged
-Bartender, you might want to check this girl’s ID again
-We should hang out some time. You can help me pick up chicks
-You girls aren’t toursists, are you?
-Holy shit, you really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?
-Careful girl, I’m a heartbreak waiting to happen
-Your ex boyfriend sounds just like me
-I’m so emotionally unavailable right now
-I think you might make a nice friend
-We need to find you a man
-We would never get along

You: We’re too much a like. We’d never get along
Her: Why?
You: Because we’d never have anything significant to argue about. So we’d have to make up petty little things

to fight about… And I’d always win.
Her: No you wouldn’t
You: Yes I would
Her: No
You: You see, we’re arguing right now… And you started it
Her: No I didn’t. You did
You: OMG, just let it go. If you’re going to keep acting like this, I will so have to break up with you
Her: (Whatever. Doesn’t matter)
You: Hey, but at least we’d have good make up sex
Her: (Whatever)
You: Yeah, just kidding anyways. We don’t have to get in arguments to have sex

Here’s another argue routine, I think it was Harlequin who once posted in a field report.

You: Do you want to have an argument?
Her: No
You: Yes you do

Her: Can I help you?
You: Yeah, I need a back rub and a warm bath

You: Hey, you’re not shoplifting, are you?
Her: No, I work here
You: What’s the matter, the employee discount not enough for you?

You: So what do they pay you here, like $10,000 a week?
Her: No
You: Oh, that’s too bad. I was going to ask you out. But I’m looking for a rich girl

Her: Nice to meet you
You: I’m sure it is

Her: Have a nice day
You: Hey, don’t tell me what to do

Posted by Harlequin
In a quiet bar: “GET OFF MY COCK!”
When she offers up a whimsical idea…”Girl, you’re nuttier than Squirrel-shit.”

Posted by Face
“While you’re down there…” [I say this under my breath anytime a girl drops somethig or bends down for any reason]

Posted by fad3r
If a girl tells me brb or I will talk to you later I respond with “don’t threaten me!”

Posted by Vincent Chase
Wearing an article of clothing rather tight or noticably lacking/small.
“What the matter? Couldn’t find anything in your size? Maybe you should stop shopping at the Baby Gap.”

funny-gif-dog-catching-play-falls