• Avoiding Conversations That Go NOWHERE

    by AlphaWolf & Co.
    2 comments

    Chicago Falcon BannerHey guys, this is Philip Marinetti, also known as the Chicago Falcon and instructor for Troy Dizon Dating, writing about how important it is for men to be leaders when it comes to meeting women.A problem I see men write about, over and over, is that they run out of material.  They hit a DEAD-END in their conversation with the girl.  This can even happen if you’re liking her and she’s liking you.

    Blah Blah Blah

    Get to the point

    Now why does this happen?  Do you need more material?  Or some stories to stack?  NO.  Quite often this simply happens because you have no gameplan – that is, no idea where the conversation is supposed to go NEXT.

    One of the vital ingredients in pulling (either a one-night stand or several dates later) is logistics.  You’ve gotta have a gameplan in mind, a general (but complete) path from the initial meeting to your bed.  Without this gameplan your conversations are going to be unfocused and hazy because you don’t know where you’re going, and if you don’t know, then how are they supposed to know?

    Think about it.  Let’s say a guy meets a girl at a bar and hit it off.  He chats with her, meets her friends, and everyone is having fun, but as soon as he hit a lull in the conversation, OR SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HAPPENS (maybe her friends show up and everyone goes nuts, or she gets a call and walks away), the conversation dies.  This has probably happened to you.  It happened to me countless times in the past.  Many times this is the gameplan the guy is running on:

    1) Approach

    2) {Hazy, undefined activity happening from 10:30pm to 2am}

    3) Girl in bed with you

    Many guys literally do not know what step 2 is supposed to look like.  Maybe they’re too lazy or unfocused or something, but with such uncertainty, it’s no surprise that conversations don’t go anywhere.

    DIRECTION DIRECTION DIRECTION – this is what girls are looking for.

    So what should a gameplan look like?

    I suggest having a plan for the night, even if you’re not 100% sure you’re going to be following it.  Perhaps you’re going to bar A to warm up the night until around 11pm or so, then bouncing to bar B for some dancing until 2am, then if you’re still having fun you could go to bar C, or there’s also an excellent diner nearby if you’re hungry (or want to talk to some cuties you met that night).  From there you have movie A sitting at your home and there’s nothing you like better than to watch a movie to chill out after a great night.

    Game Plan

    Have a game plan

    Notice that a guy with a plan like this is steeped in what I call the nightlife culture.  He genuinely enjoys these bars and enjoys staying out late partying with his friends.  If you’re not steeped in the culture (don’t like bars, don’t like staying out late, don’t like the girls you meet there) then you either need to learn to like it (which often comes once you’re comfortable in them) or figure out a different way to meet women.

    However, with a plan like I described in your head, it’s a simple matter of asking the girl her logistics, and then giving her your own.  Often, when you ask a girl what her plans are for the night, the response will be

    “I don’t know.”

    Even better, because your plans will seem great in comparison to her hazy, confusing plans.  This will also give direction to your conversation, as you’ll either be vibing with her (in the moment, stating the obvious, sexualized conversations) or you’ll be leading her (let’s go outside where we can hear each other, let’s go to bar B, let’s go to the diner, let’s go sit in the corner, let’s go watch a movie at my place).

    Once you’ve defined your night, a good portion of pointless, unfocused conversation will feel exactly like that – pointless.  You’ll be able to avoid this problem.

    Wishing you success,

    Philip Marinetti

  • P.S. If you enjoyed this post, you can also download your free 10 little style tips and the 2 authentic conversation starters here for free.

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    2 comments

    Richard | RichardShelmerdine.com April 27, 2010 - 1:51 am

    I find it easy to have a vague planned outline but nothing too serious and just direct the night as it goes on. Too many little things could change the course of the night that it’s not worth planning too hard.

    Reply
    David Black April 29, 2010 - 4:25 pm

    Good stuff. I think it is a crucial, and overlooked, skill to be able to come up with a gameplan in a heartbeat as the situation and logistics change. This can be tough when first starting out, as the emotions of the interaction are too overpowering, and can only be developed over time, as you calm the hell down and start being more centred in the interaction, and act with more persistence, always thinking, ‘what’s the best way for me to get my desired outcome from this?’

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