Automatic Attraction: What Women Think

If you’re lucky enough to have a good female friend (i.e. you guys are actually GOOD friends, and would be if you were a girl or if she was a guy), she’ll probably tell you that she knows whether or not she is willing to sleep with a guy in The First 5 Seconds. 

When I was in 8th grade, I met a girl named Sasha. Sasha was tall, slender, and had tons of make up on.

Even though I was only 13 at the time, I felt attraction for her. Later, I learned that she dropped out of school because she was pregnant. We were never really sure if that was a nasty rumor spread by her female enemies or it was for real. In any case, she disappeared the 2nd semester of 9th grade (high school).

I never saw her again.

But the memory remains. I always think about Sasha’s effect on guys, and I wondered if we have the same effect on women. Is it possible? Instant Attraction? What did that feel like, and how does one go about controlling that kind of power?

Anyway, a few years ago I was on the Phero Talk forums and a thread I had started in 2007 has now grown to encompass feedback from over 116 users (99% women). I share the results with you here.

automatic attraction triggers

The full thread is here on Phero Talk: Keep in mind that because this is a pherome forum, there is a small bias on smell being a main contributor of attraction.

Who are these women?

  • The female population of the users range from older cougars to young, sophisticated women, to women interested in smelling better, to women who are more into the player lifestyle.
  • Most of the women’s profile pictures are pretty hot.
  • There may be uglier girls on the forum trying to figure out how to get hotter guys, but this is more likely, based on my experience, a smaller percentage. However we cannot discount that just like on the men’s seduction forums, there are needy and desperate guys, there is likely a percentage of more desperate girls too.
  • Based on my interactions though, most of the more regular, higher rep users on this forum are sophisticated, grounded women who know their stuff.
  • These women are intelligent. Above average. They see the deeper side of things which explains their understanding and experimentation for Pheromes as scientifically it has been proven to work. They analyze things more and develop a deeper understanding of relationships. As you can see from the comments, they appreciate deeper characteristics in men too such as Intelligence, Kindness and Strength.

What are these women saying? Here are some insightful and funny comments from the thread:

  • Alpha personalities, its something you can see in the way he carries himself before you ever speak to them. His confidence is a big one for me, not really his ability to “lead other men” but a guy who is comfortable with who he is. His ability to “get it done” without belittling those around him.
  • His treatment of those around him. A lot of people assume to be Alpha you have to be big or a tough guy. Thats not what being a alpha is. Its more of a confidence, self assurance, self respect. Those qualities come through in the way he treats the people around him
  • The intensity in the way he looks at you makes me shiver!
  • Oddly enough, I prefer short men, preferably 2 to 3 inches taller than me (about 5′ 8″ or so). There is nothing worse than hugging a guy with your face smashed into his rib cage.
  • Intelligence. Quiet…deep, intelligent. The way he looks at me can totally make me hot. I don’t go for any specific physical qualities.
  • For me number one is posture, so I chose muscle tonality as the closest choice.
  • I notice men who are well groomed….who dress and act appropriately.
    The ones who are confident enough to be open and at ease with themselves, and others, and treat the people in their company with respect and kindness.
  • A confident man tends to be an intelligent man.
  • Educators, intellectuals and artists, yes I fall into that catagory,
  • You can always spot a dominant man in the crowd by these
  • I respond to power. He doesn’t have to have a powerful position because many of the people in those positions lack personal power. He doesn’t need to have wealth but he needs to be able to stand on his own feet. Whether he leads men will depend upon whether he has any place he wants them to go. I have to respect him to want him for more than a bit of fun.
  • …oh and I forgot the most important part!!! must be cat and dog lover!!!!! lol
  • If he’s a complete stranger, it would probably be the way he walks because it will make me notice him and it will tell me about his personality and motivation. There are some other things such as his face, body, the way he looks at me, that will make me find him attractive. When it comes down to it, it’s the way he makes me feel that will move things along
  • In the first few minutes of interaction, it’s all about the way he acts, sounds, and smells, and how he is treated by and treats others. That pretty much sums it up for me.
  • Voice – this is a pretty important one for me! It’s probably because my father has a great voice, so I factor it in when looking for guys
  • All righty then, this one shouldn’t be a surprise – smell is a major thing for me. If a guy smells wrong to me and I don’t already have an established relationship of some type with him, I’m keeping my distance. If a guy smells great then HELLO.
  • A six pack is lovely to look at, but doesn’t make a comfortable pillow.
  • but if you open your mouth and stupid falls out, I might be willing to play for a night but otherwise you drop off my radar.
  • Generally unlike men who are usually shallow, its common knowledge that women usually go beyopnd looks when dealing with men

My insights from this mini-research project:

  1. Above all else at 59%, the way a man looks at a woman tells her everything.
  2. The combination of smell, voice, height, muscle tone and eye gaze make up the secondary list of attractive qualities. If you think about it, these are the biggest signals of healthy genetics and sexual compatibility between men and women.
  3. Jawline is important, but less so than I thought. It is likely that David Buss’s theory on ovulation and the sexy son hypothesis is at play.
  4. Movement is key. The way a man walks, and interacts with others at a venue, and his gaze tell most women what he’s about. This is SEPARATE from his natural genetics. Therefore, his role within a social matrix can create instant attraction.
  5. There are still some women who commented on just a hunky, good looking guy is key. Obviously, such guys have a lot to be confident about, and it CAN be a fulfilling prophecy, although we all know the good looking guy who doesn’t get girls because he’s too shy.

Example of Ryan Gosling hitting a lot of these instant attraction triggers:

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