This was an original chapter in Seduce With Style, which I am adding to the Style 101 posts as I am rewriting Seduce With Style 2.0.
Asian Men and Styling
I dedicate this chapter to Asian men because I am Chinese myself. I have experienced unique challenges as an Asian man in America. As you sit down to read this eBook, if you are part of the minority race in any country (including white men outside of America), this section may be of help to you.
Stereotypes exist because on the surface, people like to thin-slice information into data points they can easily and quickly understand. There are a few truths to stereotypes and those are nailed in to identify a particular type of person in our minds and in the cultural meme. In the States, Asian guys have it bad, because we have a relatively negative stereotype when it comes to attracting women and having attractive style.
When you think of the average Asian guy in America, he usually is skinny, has glasses on, and doesn’t speak English very well. His fashion sense may be a bit nerdy, or too “Asian” and therefore classified as foreign by the majority race. This topic deserves its own book, but for now I will focus on style.
Celebrity and Role Models
Hollywood has embraced some of our brothers since Bruce Lee broke the glass ceiling, and today actors like Jackie Chan and Jet Li personify the attractive Asian man. But these are still martial artists and young attractive Asian men are rarely mentioned in the media or in movies. When they are, they are usually in the form of Harold Lee (Harold & Kumar) and that Japanese dude on Heroes who can stop time.
To get past this we have to go back to our roots. In Asia, pop stars that span across language barriers are usually extremely talented and stylish. Bands like Luna Sea, Mayday, Gackt, The GazettE, Jay Chou and other artists receive international recognition.
Their styles exemplify dominance, a sense of craziness and the artistry of self expression. I have a folder on my desktop called “rockstar” avatars, and I study these rockstars to see what makes their image.
Since we don’t have very clear style role models, most Asian men tend to stay nerdy and conformist or we end up adopting a classical look. What I mean by classical look is generic looks that as a “class” appear attractive. The business suit, the campus student, the office worker. You get the idea. Very rarely to you see slightly bad boy, gangster or rocker Asian guys.
Most minorities conform to the majority. Because the majority is elite in the society they dominate, appearances are emulated by the others to try to gain access to this group’s influence. This happened in every country I have lived in growing up. There is a current trend of mixed races, and this will likely continue as inter-racial marriages increase.
Style-wise, my suggestion for Asian men is to stand out. In lieu of a clear character development roadmap, move towards a Euro-Asian look.
Natural Genetics and Asian Girl Elves
Asian girls have a lot of positive innate qualities to their gender that fit into the universally appealing category across cultures: soft and thick skin, healthy and thick hair, smaller cheekbones, slower aging (due to thicker skin), slower weight gain and proportionally tight bodies. Their disadvantages include smaller eyes, smaller breast and hip sizes and a tendency to be cute rather than sexy. Add to that, their skill in applying makeup and you have our notorious “Asian Honey Traps”:
White guys have a hard time resisting this, and we are left with many half Asian kids as a result. That being said, notice how the most popular Asian girls are always those that most effectively negate their weaknesses and accentuate their strengths.
The hottest Asian girls usually have the following traits: long colored brown hair (maybe with highlights), lipstick, fake colored contact lenses, lots of carefully applied makeup, decent height, long thin legs, a ridiculously tight body that never gets fat, big breasts (fake or real), high heels and clothes that show off how tight their bodies are, albeit smaller.
Asian girls are like elves in a fantasy game. They are fragile but have high agility and age slowly. The feminine characteristics of the whole race make Asian women evermore so attractive compared to the average girl.
Natural Genetics and Asian Guys
Asian men, however, suffer equally at natural genetics given the perceived beauty images of what is masculine. What we do have going for us are: tight bodies and less fat, better skin and hair, intelligence, and the fact that we are packing heat down there. In all fairness, we don’t get bald and we don’t get fat. We age very slowly.
Asian men genetically have an adverse relationship to male attraction: shorter height, smaller frames, less chiseled jaw lines compared to Greek God statues (which were controlled in history by Europeans, once again). But when we exceed these expectations of the average, we stand out as a treasured rarity among the crowd.
Asian Men Style Tips
The basic strategy is to minimize your weaknesses and exponentially accentuate your strengths. Japanese rockers and Taiwanese male celebrities do this very well:
- Have a distinctive hairstyle. Highlight your hair to add contrast between your eye and hair color
- Use contacts to remove those glasses, and even color contacts to change up your look. Dark green, brown and grey contacts work very well with black hair
- Wear boots that add a few inches to your height when going out
- Follow a hard gainer workout method to put on muscle. Although you will likely have a harder time, you can gain a healthy amount of muscle mass
- Wear accessories to stand out, and spend the time to find the right designs for your body
- Tailor-make suits, shirts and jeans to fit your body frame perfectly
- Consider getting tattoos and piercings that mean something to you
- Dress stylishly either through a more bad boy rocker style, or classy elite businessman look
- Use stereotypes to your advantage: follow that Chinese Triad suit and piercing look instead of the Asian nerd studying in the library outfit
- If you can, grow out you facial hair to add square-ness to the jaw and masculinity to your face
- For the right reasons, consider getting cosmetic surgery if your eyes are very small or need a double eyelid (I would advise against doing this for the wrong reasons and advise against height or jaw reconstruction surgery given the risk-reward analysis of the procedures)
- Accents: most Asian accents are not considered attractive, and voice therapy can be used to correct these if it is indeed a huge blocker to your game
- Mannerisms: many of my students have meek and timid mannerisms that are part of the Chinese upbringing. They nod their heads too much and have weak eye contact. The 3 pillars of outer game are: eye contact, voice control, and body language. Learn to master these in addition to your style.
Aside from personal style tips, I want to discuss the aggregation of Asian men amongst Asian groups. Most of the time, they hang out with other Asian men of the same nationality. (I am talking about both American-born Asians and Asian-born Asians in America) What you end up with is a group of largely Asian guys and girls. As expected, drama ensues when inter-dating happens and when the Asian girl starts dating a white guy outside of their group. Real behavior is reflected when you analyze a person’s real choices.
My house parties always include girls from all races
Race aside, you should be extending the possibilities of your real choices in life. Not only with women, but with what you believe you deserve. A good start will be stepping out of your comfort zone of Asian only friends and activities that extends beyond the stereotypes. I have made things work for me by hanging out with the hottest Asian girl groups. Usually, these girls want to meet good looking guys of all races. I introduce them to my guy friends, who are of different nationalities. They give me social proof, and I give them connections. As an Asian guy who speaks your native tongue you can get the hottest Asian girls, if that is what you truly desire. But let that be a bonus and not a limitation of your social connections as you journey on towards the top of the social hierarchy.