Are You Overlooking The Most Crucial Key To Learning How to Flirt With A Girl?

Guest post by Alex from

You are at the mall and you have just seen the proverbial girl of your dreams. The time has finally come. The months you have spent lurking in your house learning every form of seduction ever created by man are at last going to pay off. Routines stacks, you know them all. NLP, pshh it has become like your second language. The hilarious thing is you have even mastered natural game, so you do not even need to rely on technique. Yes my friend, this is in the bag! There is nothing you do not know about flirting with girl and creating massive attraction, this should be a walk in the park.


You approach and a funny thing starts to happen though. Your heart starts beating faster, you start to sweat a little and you develop a very small nervous twitch. You awkwardly walk up to her and quickly spout out the best routine you know, layered with hypnotizing word patterns and everything you have ever learned packed into it. You SAY it perfectly, but you are speaking WAY to fast.  Then the impossible happens, the girl starts to get nervous and uncomfortable like you are painful to be around. Within moments she ejects like you are a walking STD. How could this happen? You literally KNOW everything! Well, there is still one thing you have failed to master. Understanding on how to relax when you are talking to a girl.


This is one of the biggest stealth killers of attraction and is getting guys devastating blows left and right outs without them even realizing why. This is simply because it is rarely mentioned in any form of detail in PUA teaching. However, if you watch any great pick up artist they all incorporate it with near perfection. Whether you are watching Neil Strauss, Tyler Durden, or Adam Lyon they all perfectly relaxed and comfortable in a set. It almost seems like they have done it a thousand times. (Oh wait they have!)

So why is this so important? The cold hard truth is that people can sense how you are feeling by how you are acting pure and simple. The keyword there is HOW you are acting, not what you are saying. If you are incredibly nervous your emotional state will literally be pushed onto people around you and you will not be able to perform any type of game. Girls have to be relaxed to some extent if they are going to be aroused. Have you ever talked to someone that was stressed out, panicky, and nervous? Can you remember how you wanted to get away from them as fast as possible? This is exactly what you do to women when overlook incorporating relaxation into your skill set.

This seems like one of the most blatantly obvious tips, but it is because of simplicity that is so often overlooked. When men get into PUA they make the fatal mistake of focusing on advanced techniques when they should be learning the basics of simply having a conversation of a stranger. This is like a kid mastering how to kick flip his skateboard, while ignoring learning how to ride it down the street. In the end guys end up just like the kid on the skateboard. They have a cool new trick, but they cannot do anything with it because they can’t do something as basic as comfortably being able to say hi to a stranger.

I am not here to tell you are doomed to a life of rejection and awkward moments, though, far from it. There is a way to overcome this hurdle that helped me immensely when I first got into learning how to flirt with a girl. Luckily, it is a pretty simple solution, however it takes some courage. To start becoming more relaxed in set there is an extremely common sense solution: start doing as many sets as possible and makes an active effort to keep them uncomplicated. That is right, put down your PUA books and courses for a bit! Keep it simple. You may not know this, but this is how EVERY great pick artist learned to be comfortable talking to women. After thousands of approaches it becomes almost impossible for them not to be totally at ease.

You are probably thinking duh, I know this. News flash! Every guy knows this deep down, but 95% of them fail to ever do it. Guys want to start winning right away, and in PUA there is a steep learning curve at first. You are going to have to learn to be comfortable with the basics (and occasionally falling on your butt) before you can become a seduction master or the next Dos Equis guy.

So the next time you are out, do not wait to till you see the glamour model of your sensual dreams. Approach the first 10 girls you see, and just say hi while carrying on a light conversation. Only then after those 10 approaches will you be socially comfortable enough to start practicing all the advanced techniques you been studying for the past year. So chill, breathe, and learn stop repulsing women with your nervousness before anything else. Only when you are comfortable talking to a girl will you then be able to seduce her. Or you could simply stick to Plenty of Fish PUA =D.

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Alex is the creator of A PUA Resource for teaching college guys how to flirt with a girl.