• Are You Overlooking The Most Crucial Key To Learning How to Flirt With A Girl?

    by AlphaWolf & Co.

    Guest post by Alex from CollegeFlirt.net

    You are at the mall and you have just seen the proverbial girl of your dreams. The time has finally come. The months you have spent lurking in your house learning every form of seduction ever created by man are at last going to pay off. Routines stacks, you know them all. NLP, pshh it has become like your second language. The hilarious thing is you have even mastered natural game, so you do not even need to rely on technique. Yes my friend, this is in the bag! There is nothing you do not know about flirting with girl and creating massive attraction, this should be a walk in the park.


    You approach and a funny thing starts to happen though. Your heart starts beating faster, you start to sweat a little and you develop a very small nervous twitch. You awkwardly walk up to her and quickly spout out the best routine you know, layered with hypnotizing word patterns and everything you have ever learned packed into it. You SAY it perfectly, but you are speaking WAY to fast.  Then the impossible happens, the girl starts to get nervous and uncomfortable like you are painful to be around. Within moments she ejects like you are a walking STD. How could this happen? You literally KNOW everything! Well, there is still one thing you have failed to master. Understanding on how to relax when you are talking to a girl.


    This is one of the biggest stealth killers of attraction and is getting guys devastating blows left and right outs without them even realizing why. This is simply because it is rarely mentioned in any form of detail in PUA teaching. However, if you watch any great pick up artist they all incorporate it with near perfection. Whether you are watching Neil Strauss, Tyler Durden, or Adam Lyon they all perfectly relaxed and comfortable in a set. It almost seems like they have done it a thousand times. (Oh wait they have!)

    So why is this so important? The cold hard truth is that people can sense how you are feeling by how you are acting pure and simple. The keyword there is HOW you are acting, not what you are saying. If you are incredibly nervous your emotional state will literally be pushed onto people around you and you will not be able to perform any type of game. Girls have to be relaxed to some extent if they are going to be aroused. Have you ever talked to someone that was stressed out, panicky, and nervous? Can you remember how you wanted to get away from them as fast as possible? This is exactly what you do to women when overlook incorporating relaxation into your skill set.

    This seems like one of the most blatantly obvious tips, but it is because of simplicity that is so often overlooked. When men get into PUA they make the fatal mistake of focusing on advanced techniques when they should be learning the basics of simply having a conversation of a stranger. This is like a kid mastering how to kick flip his skateboard, while ignoring learning how to ride it down the street. In the end guys end up just like the kid on the skateboard. They have a cool new trick, but they cannot do anything with it because they can’t do something as basic as comfortably being able to say hi to a stranger.

    I am not here to tell you are doomed to a life of rejection and awkward moments, though, far from it. There is a way to overcome this hurdle that helped me immensely when I first got into learning how to flirt with a girl. Luckily, it is a pretty simple solution, however it takes some courage. To start becoming more relaxed in set there is an extremely common sense solution: start doing as many sets as possible and makes an active effort to keep them uncomplicated. That is right, put down your PUA books and courses for a bit! Keep it simple. You may not know this, but this is how EVERY great pick artist learned to be comfortable talking to women. After thousands of approaches it becomes almost impossible for them not to be totally at ease.

    You are probably thinking duh, I know this. News flash! Every guy knows this deep down, but 95% of them fail to ever do it. Guys want to start winning right away, and in PUA there is a steep learning curve at first. You are going to have to learn to be comfortable with the basics (and occasionally falling on your butt) before you can become a seduction master or the next Dos Equis guy.

    So the next time you are out, do not wait to till you see the glamour model of your sensual dreams. Approach the first 10 girls you see, and just say hi while carrying on a light conversation. Only then after those 10 approaches will you be socially comfortable enough to start practicing all the advanced techniques you been studying for the past year. So chill, breathe, and learn stop repulsing women with your nervousness before anything else. Only when you are comfortable talking to a girl will you then be able to seduce her. Or you could simply stick to Plenty of Fish PUA =D.

    college girl 2

    Alex is the creator of Collegeflirt.net. A PUA Resource for teaching college guys how to flirt with a girl.

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    Chris July 21, 2011 - 10:19 pm

    Good advice!

    Being relaxed is definitely key when it comes to approaching girls.

    Most guys don’t realize that the girl is just as nervous as you when you approach her. But if you walk up with confidence and assurance you pull her into your world and you have all the power, instead of the other way around.

    It is true that being relaxed is something that comes through experience. But that’s not the only way.

    There’s another strategy I like to call, “rehearsing for success.” The idea behind it is that you visualize over and over again how you will look when you approach, how you will sound, how calm you will be, what she will say, how she will react, you getting her number (or something better :) ) and ending with you being successful.

    Once you do make the actual approach it will feel like it happened before. I picked up on this technique because I use to have to get up in front of thousands of people, and I rehearsed each time so every time I did make an appearance I felt like I had already done it and I wasn’t nervous. It worked like a charm with women as well.

    Player87 August 17, 2011 - 2:53 pm

    Great advise for PUAs starting out in seduction.

    I agree being relaxed is a part of the game. Slow movements, speaking slowly shows this. It is important to remember that 93% of the game is non-verbal. So its self-defeating to focus on getting the rest of the 7% right. Who cares if you missed that line of the routine.

    The best way I got relaxed when approaching and talking to women is through experience. That is the only true way of getting relaxed, nothing fake or fronting.

    Just t throw yourself into the fire. It only takes a few seconds and as soon as you jump in, you’ll realize that you’re fireproof


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