A new term for leading women

Guest Post by dating instructor

I’m generally against using pickup jargon and acronyms with my students — even the ones associated with my company. Yup, I’m one of those guys. But as I hear men describe their problems with women, there is one acronym I’ve been kicking around lately, and what better place than PUA Lingo to share it? I feel like an uptight female accountant spending a weekend in Vegas. It’s time to let my hair down.So here it is: SUAL. That means Shut Up and Lead. I’m really hoping this catches on so I can have my own addition to the seduction canon. My last one, SGMAB (She Got Me a Beer), didn’t take.

OK, I’ll get serious. This is actually more of a tough-love post. I see lots of questions from guys — be they my students with Charisma Arts, forum members or guys e-mailing me from around the world. On the surface they’re all different and complex problems, but the guys probably know deep down that they require the same simple solution: leadership.

Here are some examples of what I mean:

  •  “There’s this girl I like at work. How do I get her to go out with me?” You lead. You suggest a casual drink outside the office, where you can progress from there.
  • “How do I get her to talk after we’ve exchanged names at the bar?” You lead. You talk about yourself so she can start relating to you, which will help her to open up. You also lead by finding out her logistics, which will make her feel more comfortable talking to you. (Hmm, is “logistics” jargon? If so, I do use that one.)
  • “How do I make her get sexual with me?” You lead. You get sexual with her first, by showing interest verbally and physically.

“What do I tell her if I’m at Starbucks and the girl I’m talking to is ahead of me in line?” Shut up and lead. “What do I say next to the waitress I’ve been flirting with?” Shut up and lead. “What do I say when I text this girl I like?” SHUT UP AND LEAD! Oops, my voice was rising there. It’s only because guys usually know what they should do, yet they need to ask anyway.

I’ve dealt with all kinds of students — introverts, extroverts, tall guys, short guys, you name it — and for almost all of them, their biggest problem wasn’t a lack of technique or having enough to talk about. Once I got them to lead women better, by using a few basic concepts, they succeeded in ways they never had before. To me, that’s game.

I think a big downfall to all the jargon and methods out there is that they make this stuff seem more complicated than it really is. The next time you find yourself standing in front of that raven-haired vixen, trying to reach deeply into your bag of charm to woo her, just ask yourself how you could most easily escalate the situation with her, and simply do that.

Oops, did I say escalate? I guess I use more jargon than I thought.

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