For anyone reading this, I think it’s pretty clear by now that Asian guys have a harder time when it comes to online dating, especially if we are minorities in a country. Asian men remain the most likely to have no romantic prospects growing up and in adulthood
OKCupid’s followup study also showed a relatively similar trajectory of women of other races and their preference for Asian men:
Now, I’ve been through this scenario before, and while it’s easy to despair and blame external factors years ago I took it upon myself to see what I could improve.
In the last decade of my coaching experience, I’ve found that the “average” statistics don’t apply if you are into self improvement. The majority of Asian guys on dating sites haven’t really worked on their presentation, style and writing skills. Therefore, they reinforce that “non-sexual” Asian stereotype and automatically get “written off” as a result.
The average Asian guy’s online profile is easily categorized into “just another Asian guy” stereotype because it hasn’t made calibrations to stand out. Here are 3 quick hacks I’ve developed myself and implemented with students:
1. Take the glasses off. Get contacts for the photo shoot. The depiction of Asian guys with glasses is a very common stereotype. Studies have shown that women rate men with different color eyes vs. hair color as more attractive. You can use color contacts or dye your hair to achieve this attraction point.
2. Style. One of the biggest issues is that most Asian guys dress the same. Banana republic, dress shirt + khakis or regular jeans. Mix it up a bit.
3. The 1 or 3 photo system. I’ve found that, when you don’t fit the “conventional” standards, less is more. I’ve doubled my client’s success rates when they are a minority of slightly overweight but reducing the number of pictures on dating sites and apps to 1 or 3. Make sure these are the BEST pictures you’ve gotten. It usually takes about 800-1000 shots for 2-3 really good photos, but chances are you’re prepared and you’ve hired a great photographer. The effort is worth it. This picture can be used for your social media pictures for years to come. For the 1 photo system, pick the BEST photo. Use Photofeeler.com to test out the ratings of women and find the best one for attraction. Make sure it shows your face and at least the top half of your body. For the 3 picture system, use the best 3, with different outfits. Ideally, different locations. It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing, unless the pose and story of the shoot is super creative, like you holding a cat a certain way or you in the middle of a jump near a waterfall. The most important thing is that the angle is right, the lighting is good, and that it’s your best picture. Remember that with the 1/3 pictures model, you want to present you best pictures, and eliminate the rest. You’re looking to REMOVE reasons not to say yes to you.
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