Quick Definition: The behavioral expectations and cues within a social setting or social group.
Full Definition:
Most early PUA schools of thought advocate being aware of but ignoring social norms.
In sociology, the social norms are “the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.” These rules can be communicated verbally (explicit) or through subtle cues and subcommunication (implicit).
Depending on the type of social circle, failure to follow the rules can result in negative reinforcement from the social order. This can result in slight annoyance from other group members to severe punishments, as well as exclusion from the group.
For example, the corporate culture or corporate “social norm” of IBM in the 80′s was the blue suit with the tie. If an engineer wanted to dress in flip flops and jeans, he may not be taken seriously in meetings, or worse yet, asked to re-dress himself or leave the company. If an older man goes to a 18+ goth club dressed in a cardigan sweater, he may be implicitly breaking the social norms.
Interestingly, popular kids in high school and usually, tribal leaders and those in power have higher bandwidth to set, establish and bend social norms to their will. This usually comes from a place of belief combined with power to execute. An example can be seen here in the movie “Mean Girls”, written by Tina Fey that takes a comical view of the social norms that influence most American high schools.
“[1] They have also been described as the “customary rules of behavior that coordinate our interactions with others.”[2] The social norms indicate the established and approved ways of doing things, of dress, of speech and of appearance. These vary and evolve not only through time but also vary from one age group to another and between social classes and social groups. What is deemed to be acceptable dress, speech or behavior in one social group may not be accepted in another.
Deference to the social norms maintains one’s acceptance and popularity within a particular group; ignoring the social norms risks one becoming unacceptable, unpopular or even an outcast from a group. Social norms tend to be tacitly established and maintained through body language and non-verbal communication between people in their normal social discourse. We soon come to know when and where it is appropriate to say certain things, to use certain words, to discuss certain topics or wear certain clothes and when not to. Such knowledge about cultural norms is important for impression management[3], which is an individual’s regulation of their nonverbal behavior. We also come to know through experience what types of people we can and cannot discuss certain topics with or wear certain types of dress around. Mostly this knowledge is derived experientially.
Most early PUA schools of thought advocate being aware of but ignoring social norms.
In sociology, the social norms are “the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.” These rules can be communicated verbally (explicit) or through subtle cues and subcommunication (implicit).
Depending on the type of social circle, failure to follow the rules can result in negative reinforcement from the social order. This can result in slight annoyance from other group members to severe punishments, as well as exclusion from the group.
For example, the corporate culture or corporate “social norm” of IBM in the 80′s was the blue suit with the tie. If an engineer wanted to dress in flip flops and jeans, he may not be taken seriously in meetings, or worse yet, asked to re-dress himself or leave the company. If an older man goes to a 18+ goth club dressed in a cardigan sweater, he may be implicitly breaking the social norms.
Interestingly, popular kids in high school and usually, tribal leaders and those in power have higher bandwidth to set, establish and bend social norms to their will. This usually comes from a place of belief combined with power to execute. An example can be seen here in the movie “Mean Girls”, written by Tina Fey that takes a comical view of the social norms that influence most American high schools:
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